Monday, July 31, 2006


Who from Winkler Manitoba is reading my blog?

I KNOW people from there! I mean, isn't it a tiny little town? And I know, like 3 people who live there, and I know someone who's related to people there, so really, don't I have a 90% chance of knowing YOU?!? DO I know you? Do you know me?

Speak up!

The Room I Loathe.

Its formal name is the "Laundry Room".
But it's also the tool room.

And the pet food and cat litter room. As well as the paper products room (ie, extra t.p., extra paper towel, extra diapers).

I can't get this room organized. I can't get or keep it clean. It's small, and it's cramped.

The pet food is kept in there so that Cherry doesn't eat it. The cat litter is in there so that Cherry doesn't eat that either!

The dog dishes are kept on the floor, right in the perfect spot to catch the odd sock and dish cloth that falls out of the dryer when you open the door.

The cat food is on TOP of the dryer, so that the dogs can't eat it, which means there is no surface to fold clothes upon.

I tried to fix up the room a bit by adding shelves. The shelves remain mostly empty because my "system" of putting certain baskets for certain rooms' clean laundry on certain shelves never really worked. I'm thinking I should try that system again, but maybe those shelves could be put to better use. But if I don't use them for the laundry baskets, then WHERE do I put the empty (or full) laundry baskets?

And as for the tools. You know, we have TWO sheds outside the house, yet the majority of the tools are kept in the house. Why? Well, because it seems like we always need the tools in the house. The solution? Pack a small toolbox with the inside essentials such as the screwdriver, hammer, stud finder, some nails and some screws. The rest of the tools can go into one of the sheds. The problem? One shed is full of unstacked firewood (don't ask me why-I have no idea) and has a door that doesn't close properly, let alone lock, and the other, bigger shed, is so full of junk (mostly baby crap) that you can barely move through it.

So, what do I WANT with this room? I want a nice, clean surface to fold laundry upon. I want enough room to store the vacuum cleaner in there without it being right in the middle of the floor. (The vacuum wasn't actually in the room when I took the pictures, but hey, it goes in there too, and takes up a good chunk of space too.) I want to be able to move the dog food from right in the middle of the floor, I want to stop tripping on paint cans. Oh, and I want room to be able to pull out my ironing board in order to iron clothes. (HA HA HA HA HA-that's a joke. Really, the ironing board is just a pretty ornament. Doesn't it look pretty in there?)

The action plan goes as follows:

Get rid of my father-but only after he helps me put a shelf up in there after ACTUALLY finding studs.

Then, take the baby stuff out of the shed and put it into the baby room that my father is currently staying in. Oh, wait, I have to paint said room first.

After putting the baby stuff in the room, I can put the tools into the shed.

Then, I can move the paper products onto the shelf where most of the tools are.

And then, I can put the dog food on the floor under that shelf.

The cat food will have to stay on the dryer.

I can also store the vacuum under the toolpaper product shelf.

The laundry hampers should fit nicely under the new "folding laundry" shelf that my father helps me to install.

Sounds great.

Estimated time of completion: 4 months from now.

Wish me luck!

Do you have any rooms that you loathe?

Sunday, July 30, 2006

About my belly part two.

I seriously feel like I'm going to explode. I can totally feel my belly S-T-R-E-T-C-H-I-N-G today. The following picture isn't all that great, but unlike last time I took a photo of my belly, I didn't want to try 17 times to get one perfect! You can't tell that my belly is super huge because of the way my shirt is hanging in the back, but just take note of how much further my belly is sticking out from my br3asts!
One of my sides hurts. It seriously feels like my skin is being pulled in several directions.

And since we're on this topic, I should take the time to update about my pregnancy.

I'm at approx 17 weeks (The counter up top is about 2-3 days behind, I think). I am freekin' HUGE for 17 weeks!

I heard the heart beat for the first time this past Wednesday. The baby also kicked while I was listening.

The midwife says I'm not big enough to be carrying twins, which I was REALLY hoping for! (more kids, less pregnancies!)

I've been feeling the baby move for a little over a week now.

I have an ultrasound scheduled for late August, at 20 weeks aprox. The first ultrasound is usually scheduled anywhere from the 18 week onwards, but because I told my midwife I want to find out the sex this time, she scheduled it further along to increase the chance of being able to tell.

I haven't been sick at all for quite a while, but I've been getting pretty bad headaches and the odd dizzy spell. And I'm really lazy!

And on that note, I have dishes to do, and a bed to crawl into!

Oh, and a couple of you have taken the time to mention or notice a lack of stretch marks. Well, I haven't got any this pregnancy yet, but there are lots from my last pregnancy. There are only a few around my belly button, and most of them are quite faded. I got all the bad ones on my back, butt and thighs! I probably won't ever wear a bikini bottom again. It's shorts for me all the way! So, if that makes you feel any better, than good.. and if you really want to see a picture of me in all my stretch mark glory, then too bad!

The One Where I almost kill my kid for starving herself.

She won't eat.

The dogs are well fed though.

It's driving me crazy.

She cannot live off of a diet of cheddar cheese and milk.

Maybe she can, but I just don't think it's right.

She's so grumpy because she's hungry, but she won't eat to make herself feel better.

She keeps on asking for milk, but I'm refusing to give her any, thinking that she might eat.

She's winning.

It's going to be a long night.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

The One Where my kid almost died while I was having a poo

Warning: there's a little bit a lot of talk about poo in this one. Evan, you might want to avert your eyes.

When you're pregnant for the first time and you're sleeping as much as you possibly can, there is one thing that everyone around you will tell you: "Enjoy it while you can."

What they don't tell you, however is to enjoy pooing by yourself while you can!

I've pretty much been constipated since I gave birth to Cherry. I've talked about it before, but there's no way I'm digging through the archives to find it for you. I've finally figured out WHY I've been constipated so much. It's because I can't just poo when I want to, and this has caused some back up.

I can't just poo when I want to, because I either have to close the door on my kid, two dogs and two cats and listen to them all whine/bark/scratch at the door. Or, I can leave the door open and try to battle with my kid to stop her from tearing all the paper off of the roll, pulling all the diapers off of the change table shelves, taking the baby cloths and throwing them in the bath while dealing with a small white poodle trying to jump on my lap, a lab trying to sniff my underwear, one cat biting my knees, and one cat trying her best to be the most adorable thing that ever rolled around on a bathroom mat.

Needless to say, the best time to poo is when all the animals are outside and the kid is sleeping. The other day, I had all of this arranged. I had just put Cherry down for her nap, and the pets were all lounging in the sun outside.

I sat down. I was at peace with myself, and my bowels were co-operating.

Then Cherry started screaming. Not crying, not fussing. It was a "I'M PRACTICALLY DYING HERE, COME HELP ME RIGHT NOW" sort of scream.

The next 15 seconds were the longest of my life. And probably the longest of Cherry's life too. I could not leave the toilet as soon as I heard the screams. It just wasn't an option. I was stuck.

As it turns out, Cherry was stuck too.

As quick as I could, I got myself "fixed" in such a way that I could run to her room to find out what was wrong. This is what I saw:*

Cherry had somehow crawled UNDER her sheet in her playpen and had gotten herself stuck. Every corner was still firmly in place, yet she had figured out a way to crawl underneath and couldn't figure a way out. Not exactly a life-threatening situation, but surely I could see the urgency and need of a rescue.

I quickly saved her and spent the next couple of minutes consoling her. Realizing that the playpen probably wasn't her favourite place in the world right then, I figured that I would let her skip the nap for now, and we would try again later.

And then I went back to the bathroom to finish my business. Afterwards I had diapers to pick up off the floor, toilet paper to throw out and cloths that needed to go into the laundry. Luckily, the animals all stayed outside. But, I haven't had a good poop since.

*No, I didn't run for the camera when I heard my kid screaming, I actually re-enacted the scene later on using four Cabbage Patch kids and sticking them under the sheet.

Friday, July 28, 2006

You Count!

~I can't believe that I'm not at BlogHer. Grr.. I will go next year. SO WILL YOU!

~ I want to write better. I need some suggestions. What do you like? What do you not like? I still want to keep the same essence, but I change up my writing style sometimes, and I want to know what works. It seems like the entries that I write that I think are so witty and well written don't always get good feedback. What do you want to see more of? Less of?

That is all.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

One Year Portrait.

This portrait was taken the day before her birthday, on July 8th. We just picked it up today.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

The One Where I lock my kid in a closet.

The night before last, Cherry and I spent the night in Victoria at my friend G.C.'s house. She has this cute little apartment that she somehow got an AWESOME deal on. But "little" happens to be the key word here. She swears she told me that it was a bachelor suite, but somehow I had forgotten. Not that me remembering this detail would have changed anything, anyhow.

The reason why this turned out to be a problem is that Cherry goes to bed every night at 7pm. She goes to bed in a somewhat dark room with a closed door. There was no such room at G.C.'s home.

But there was a closet.

And by closet, I mean, a room with no windows, but is really half the size of Cherry's old bedroom.

I figured that, if I set a fan up to blow cool air into the closet and if I left the door open a tiny bit, and that if G.C. didn't call child services, that the closet would be the perfect place to stick my kid in her playpen. This plan worked for about 20 minutes, when my child realized that perhaps being locked in a playpen within a closet was equal to having her little buddy steal her popsicle from her on a hot day. (i.e. not good)

She started crying. Not fussing, but seriously crying. And since I HAD LOCKED MY KID IN A CLOSET, I figured that perhaps she had reason to be crying, so I took her and her playpen out of the closet and set her up in the main living area, where she shouted, giggled, and talked through ALL of Pride and Prejudice. At one point she was giggling so maniacally, that we couldn't help but giggle along, even though we were trying our hardest to ignore her so that she'd possibly go to sleep.

Part way through the movie, I started farting. Eating hundreds of salty green nuts will do that to a girl. But the farts seemed to stink MUCH more than they should have. In fact, there was even stink when I hadn't farted. At first, I just figured that G.C. was having the same reaction to the nuts that I was, but then I figured it out. The maniacal laughter coming from my little one had nothing to do with Keira Knightley's lack of cleavage*. She had pooped herself. And she was proud of it!

After cleaning Cherry up, I thought that perhaps she'd be ready to go to sleep. It was, after all, already a couple of hours past her bedtime. No such luck. She stayed up for the whole movie, and even a bit beyond. I don't think she fully fell asleep until after all the lights were out and it was around midnight. She went to sleep FIVE HOURS past her bedtime. And she woke up at 6am. An hour before her regular wake up time. Mommy was not impressed. G.C. was even less impressed. She had class to go to!

The plan was that we would leave G.C.'s house when she did, in order to get an early start for the drive home. Due to lack of sleep, and the crazy heat, I just didn't feel like I was in any condition for driving (although I would have done it if I HAD to), and G.C. so nicely let us nap in her house while she went to class.

Cherry's usual 2-3 hour nap lasted for a whole hour.


I really should have just kept her in that closet!


Cherry then didn't sleep on the ride home, even though I tried to time the drive to coincide with her second nap time.

An hour after I got home, I put her down for a nap, and she passed out right away. Around 5pm, I had to wake her up in order to feed her and to get her to go back to bed for her regular 7pm. This worked out well, although it was VERY hard to get her to wake up!
I must be completely heartless to wake up something so cute! She's just like her mom though, I woke her up and presented her with food right away, and she didn't even let out a peep! (That's the only sane way to wake me up! Armondo learned that the hard way, but he learned quickly!)

After sleeping through the whole night, and having a three and a half hour nap today, I think she's we've caught up on sleep!

*I don't say this to be mean, she's really a quite beautiful woman, I only say this because her cleavage was PAINTED ON for "Pirates!"

People SUCK! part deux

Blogs are personal diaries.

Blogs are personal thoughts.

Blogs are personal stories.

Work takes up a huge part of many peoples' lives, therefore, they might be inclined to write about work.

Family and friends are all part of peoples' lives too. These are the things that happen that make us US. And these blogs are all a part of us.

So, to Wade and Mr. Fab, I feel like you've been done wrong. But please don't stop writing. Please start a new blog and only invite your friends. Like I did. Family and co-workers are not allowed!

Or do whatever you want, 'cause really... Who am I?

Saturday, July 22, 2006

I cleaned my car out today.

This is all of the stuff that I removed from my car that WASN'T garbage. Need help figuring out what's in there?

1 Ikea toy
2 paint stir sticks
2 sippy cups
1 Tickle me Elmo Suprise
3 too small diapers
1 bottle
5 bottle cap thingys
1 pair of scissors
1 can of powdered formula
2 empty water bottles
2 baby sweaters
1 VERY warm woolen coat
2 pairs of baby shoes
1 baby blanket
1 bath towel
1 set of keys for Cherry to play with
AND A BUNCH of other stuff.

So, now that my car is clean.... who's gonna clean my house?!?


Ozzy just came home!

She jumped through the open back door and announced her arrival with some excited mews! She's terribly skinny, her coat is rough, and she's shedding like crazy, but SHE'S HOME!

I cried! I'm still sort of crying! I missed my little kitty so much!


Geez, what stories these cats would tell if they could talk!

Thanks to everyone for their positive thoughts!

Friday, July 21, 2006

Regarding: some catch-up.

Regarding my Dad: He's pretty much been gone every day and night except for one since I wrote the post about him being a pain. And I DID email him the italicized part! (He never said anything about it though.) A while ago, a friend of his GAVE him a sailboat, and he's been up in the next town at the docks working on it, and sleeping in it most nights. Right now he's taking a trip around Lasqueti Island. The boat is old, and needs a paint job, but it's pretty cool, considering it was free! My dad WAS home for a bit though, and I got him to watch Cherry while I ran to get my pregnancy bloodwork done, and while I was gone, he did the dishes! Which is really cool. Most of the dishes had to be RE-DONE, but still, it's the effort that counts! And his EI money finally came in. (I'm sorry, I keep on mentioning EI, and I know that some of you don't know what it is, so, here ya go:EI is short for Employment Insurance. You pay into it the whole time you work, and if/when you lose your job, you can collect some money while you look for a new job. The money you get is usually 55% of your regular wages, and it usually takes WEEKS to get the money, and there's lots of annoying paperwork involved.)

Regarding: The missing cat. Ozzy hasn't come home yet. She's been gone for 5-6 days now. I think that means she's gone for good. I mean, in this heat, if she got trapped somewhere, then she probably wouldn't be able to survive. Ugh, I don't want to talk about it anymore, my eyes are tearing up.

Regarding: Precious Moments. I've got a few to add.
~The way that Cherry clings to me like her life is in GRAVE DANGER when we go into the river.
~The doughy-ness of her when she wakes in the middle of the night.
~The SLEEPING in and LONG NAPS she's been taking lately. Those are precious for this preggo, exhausted mom!
~How she's REALLY, REALLY, for real, with no mistaking, saying "Mom" now!

Regarding: Vacation. In the middle of a post a week or so ago, I wrote about some vacation plans. Well, we still haven't made any final plans but the options have sort of opened up a little more.
Option #1) We could do the said plan and go up north by ferry and drive through the province on the way home.
Option #2) We could fly to Montreal and visit family and the city for a week.
Option #3)We could repair Armondo's bike and buy a bike for me and a trailer for Cherry and tour one of the local islands (this would also require buying a tent, but so would option #1).
Option #4) Or, as Armondo suggested during our phone conversation the other day, we could INVITE HIS BROTHER OVER AND THE TWO OF THEM COULD FIX THE DECK.

All of the above said options will cost a little over a grand, and all of them have their bad sides to them... actually, maybe one doesn't...
Option one-it's FREAKING hot right now, and spending hours on end in a car with the little one and a big hot belly doesn't sound very awesome right now.
Option two- Montreal is FREAKING hot right now. And, I'm thinking it might be better to visit said family after the second baby is born, so that they can visit them both at the same time. Option #3 is starting to look pretty darn good, really! And I've really wanted a new bike for awhile now anyway!
Option number 4 HAS TO BE A JOKE, 'cause it sure makes me LAUGH!

Regarding: Controversy. Ever since Bush Veto'd funding for Stem Cell research, there has been a LOT of talk about it on news talk radio. I feel like I've been learning so much about it lately, and I might hypothetically be thinking differently about it. Or at least THINKING about it period.

Regarding: Feelings towards Armondo. This whole fishing thing has been hard. But since we had our talk, and he's left this time, I've had NO ill feelings towards him (except when I think about the mouldy towels, but then I stop myself). I miss him, but I'm no longer angry, or feeling spite-ed, and I'm in deep smit. (And I love him too!)

Regarding: Friends. I have hung out with more friends lately, and tend to do something with someone about every other day now. Sometimes it's family, sometimes it's friends, but this week, we had a playdate with some little friends, we went to a street market with Armondo's aunt and cousin, and this coming Monday we're going to Victoria to spend the night with an old friend and to do some shopping. We'll also probably hang out with another friend in Parksville late Tuesday. (That's a LOT of driving!) I feel good about it all. I haven't made any plans for the actual weekend, 'cause it's a big festival weekend here in town, and I think I'll just take Cherry downtown for some of the festivities!

I feel like there was something else I wanted to update about, but I can't think of it. If you have any burning questions, then just let me know in the comments, and I'll get to them.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Precious Moments.

These are a few of my favourite things:

~The happy squeals and "HI!"s that I get when ever I go get Cherry from her playpen in the morning and after naps.

~Watching Cherry try to figure out how to use eating utensils.

~Hyper post-bath dogs, and the kid that chases them around the house.

~The happy squeals towards the dogs and cats that Cherry lets out whenever they come close.

~The cuddles and "mmm"s and "ahhh"s I get from Cherry.

~When Cherry comes up to me and grabs my toes and tickles them in order to illicit giggles and screams from me.

~When after I tell Cherry not to do something, she stops, puts on a huge cute grin and says "Hi-yee!"

~How whenever Cherry sees a picture of herself she says "What's this!??!", points to it and yells "Hi" to herself.

~How whenever I show Cherry a picture of her dad, she lights up, giggles, says "Da da", grabs the picture and hugs it.

~How, all of a sudden, the bathroom floor seems like a perfectly reasonable place to store pot lids.

A few years ago, I came to grips with the fact that I was battling depression. I sought help and used medication to help get my chemicals all straightened out. Since having gone through that and having a *tiny* bit of education in psychology, I can recognize that I'm battling to keep my head above the water, so to speak, and am fighting depression once again. Everyday, I have some down moments, but it only takes a second to think about how blessed I am to help me stay afloat. I have the cutest kid in the world, and she helps me see my purpose in life.


Hypothetically, if I said that I agreed with Dubya Bush regarding stem cell research, I'd probably get a lot of hate comments, wouldn't I?

Hypothetically, I mean.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Missing Cat

Ozzy has gone missing. Ugh. She hasn't been seen since July 15th. I miss her! She's such a good cat! She has disappeared once before. She snuck into a neighbour's house, and without him realizing it, he shut her in the house for four days while he went away for the long weekend. I'm hoping she's just done something silly like that again, and that she's not injured or worse. I put posters up on our mailboxes today, and I'll be phoning the SPCA and the pound tomorrow. I can't really focus on too much more right now, 'cause I'm really bad at always playing the worse case scenario over and over in my mind.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

My Dad's trying to kill me, and other reasons why he needs to move out.

*warning, some gross stuff ahead*

On the day that Armondo went back fishing, I got some Chinese food to bring home to eat for dinner. My dad had already taken some ground beef out of the freezer to thaw that day, so I just popped it back into the fridge.

Then my dad went away for a couple of days and I forgot about the ground beef, until today, when I was a little weary of cooking up ground beef that had been sitting out for three days. I googled to find out how long you can leave ground beef before cooking and the common answer that I got was two days if it had been removed from its original packaging (it had). Being that it had been out for 3 days, I wasn't too keen on cooking it up. And since it's hot these days, I didn't bother tossing it out either, thinking it would be best to toss it out right on garbage day.

Then my dad comes home and decides he's going to cook it up. As he was opening one of the small packages, I told him what I found online and told him I wasn't going to eat any of it if he cooked it up, so he decided to give that chunk to the dogs. "Outside!" I demanded.

Then, he comes back in, picks up the plate, opens the fridge door with his meat covered hands and goes to put the meat back. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DAD?!?" I screech at him.

"What!? I'm just putting it back into the fridge!"

"Wash your hands first, instead of getting raw meat all over the place!"

He then slams the plate into the fridge, grunts, goes over to the sink, washes his hands, takes the cloth and wipes the fridge handle, grunts again, and leaves the room in a huff.


After Cherry had gone to bed, I was going back and forth doing laundry and washing the dishes while my dad was watching a movie. At one point when I was in my room folding laundry, my dad got up to have a pee, and left the door open. This isn't a totally rare occurrence in our house for two reasons. One, when you close the door, the animals all whine outside of the door, scratch, and sometimes bark. Two, the toilet is around a corner, so you can't really see anyone peeing anyway, so it's not a big deal. (And he thought I was in my bedroom.)

Anyway, after he peed, he left the bathroom without washing his hands. I've had my suspicions in the past that he was doing this, but this was the only time I was 100% sure.

"Ack! Dad! Why don't you wash your hands after you pee!?!"

"Because I don't pee on my hands!"

"But you touch your PENIS!"

While I'm saying all this, he's searching through the clean plates in the dry rack looking for a small one.

"Here!" I say, as I grab the plate out of his hand. I reach in the front of my drawers, get a good rub on, and smear my hand on his plate and hand it back.

His response?

"Want some cake?"

I snatch the plate back and wash it as he leaves the room.

Seconds later, I say "Dad? Do you know what Staph is?!?"

"I don't need the lecture right now" he says.

Don't need the lecture!?!? Don't need the lecture?!? You're 55 fuc#ing years old, and you still haven't figured out that you need to wash your hands after you go to the bathroom! You're applying for jobs for the local health region, and you don't know that you have to wash your hands. Every time I turn on a light or open the fridge I'm practically shaking hands with your penis. Every time you pick up your granddaughter, you're rubbing your penis epithelials all over her. And you don't need a lecture!

No, I didn't say all that to him. But damn straight, I'm sending it in an email to him tonight, since he has hidden away in his room.

I'm starting to suspect that the reason I've been getting sick over and over, every few days is because of him, and not due to the pregnancy, because I've been over the morning sickness for a couple of weeks now, but seem to get sick about once or twice a week.

And the other reason why he needs to go.

He's LAZY.

Yes, he did a bunch of work on the yard when he first got here. Yes he painted Cherry's room. But that's where it ended. He never finished the yard. (There's one and a half gardens left to weed, and he hasn't touched them in weeks.) And he's been letting the back lawn go to seed. (I told him that Armondo would do it when he got home, but since he was only here for one day, he didn't do it. I figure that my dad should step up and do it now.)

A couple of weeks ago, while he was watching her, Cherry spilled some luke-warm coffee on our couch. We have a removable slip cover, so he quickly removed it, put stain stuff on the couch underneath, and threw the couch cover, a cushion cover and a couple of other items into the wash. After they had washed, he hung them on the line to dry. (The cover would shrink if it was put in the dryer.) A WHOLE week later, I asked him to remove the couch cover from the line. He did. And he left the rest of the stuff on the line. FOR ANOTHER FULL WEEK. Also, when he was doing Cherry's room, he removed an area rug from the room and put it outside to be out of the way. He then left it outside for two weeks, during which it rained for a full week. So, a couple of days ago, I told him I was pissed off that he left the clothes on the line all this time, and that he left the rug out to rot in the rain. I told him that it would be nice if he figured out a way to let the rug dry out and if he could bring it back inside once it had dried. So, today, finally, he brought the dry rug and the clothes inside. He still left the laundry basket outside, and didn't bother to put the cover back on the cushion, but he brought everything else inside.

Also, he does NOTHING around the house. He doesn't do dishes unless I ask (It's been three times since he's been here) and doesn't do any other type of cleaning unless asked. (I asked him to sweep the floor once.) I made up a chore list for myself and for when Armondo gets home that lists very specific chores for each day of the month. I told my dad about it when he saw it posted on the fridge, and told him to feel free to do any of the chores if he saw that they weren't crossed out for the day. He hasn't done any of them.

One of the chores on the list is watering the gardens. In that first week he was here, he watered the gardens without being asked. After a while, the novelty must have worn off, because (this last, rainy week excluded), I've asked him every watering day if he's watered the garden, (knowing full well he hadn't) and after he says no, I tell him that I'll do it after I'm done the dishes or whatever. And he doesn't move off the couch to offer to do it. Even. Though. I'm. Doing. His. Dishes.

I'm going to talk to him about his laziness, but I didn't today, because he said he wasn't feeling well, and he had been gone for two days, so I figured I could give him a break. I'm pretty close to losing it though. I like my dad, but it's time he moved on.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

My Mail Man Hates Me.

I live in a rural area, so my mailbox is down the street, grouped together with all the rest of the mail boxes from this area.

Our little box requires a key to get into it, and sometimes, if there's a small package, the mailman will drop another key on a tag into your box, so that you can open a larger box on the bottom and retrieve your package. After you get your package, you mail the key back by putting it in the mail slot on the top of the boxes. If the package is larger, then you get a card and you have to go to the local post office to pick up your package.

It all seems pretty simple, right?

Well, apparently, our mail man doesn't think so.

One time, we got the notice in the mail to go pick up our package after 1pm the next day at the post office. At 4 pm the next day, that package hadn't arrived at the post office yet. We had to go back the next day after that.

One time, we got the notice in the mail to go pick up our package, and when I got the package, it was tiny and could have easily fit into one of the big boxes, and with a little effort could have even fit into our regular box.

One time, I got the special key to open one of the big boxes, and the box was empty. The dude gave me the wrong key! So, I took the key home, got an envelope, wrote "I think you gave me the wrong key, the box was empty." on the envelope, put the key inside, and mailed it back.

TWO DAYS LATER, the small package was put into MY mailbox. That's right, it fit into my mailbox, but instead of just doing that, he put it into a bigger box and gave me the wrong key.

A couple of days ago, I got a TAG saying that I had a package. That's right. A TAG, with no key on it. Pissed off, but not wanting to offend the almighty mail man (That man really does wield a lot of power if you think about it), I stuck the tag into an envelope and wrote "Did we offend you at some point? 'Cause if we did, we're really sorry, and would like a tag with an actual key on it." And I mailed it. The next day, there's a key and a tag, and the envelope with his response on it. "Sorry I did know that the key was missing." WHAT?!?! That's right, it said DID, not DIDN'T.

I feel like I should contact Canada Post and report the guy, but I'm sort of scared. I mean, I really don't need him to go postal!

Friday, July 14, 2006

Stop this emotional train ride, I wanna get off before it wrecks!

It's been one heck of a week.

Monday was normal. I spent the day vacuuming, sweeping, and otherwise cleaning.

Tuesday I spent the day psyching the kid and the dogs up, saying "Daddy's coming home today! Are you excited to see Daddy?!?"

Tuesday evening, Armondo finally came home after missing the ferry once. Cherry had already been sleeping for an hour before it was time to pick him up. She was happy to see him, but was so doughy* that she took quite awhile to really clue into what was going on.
I rarely take photos of Cherry sleeping, 'cause I'm always afraid of waking her up. But since she was getting woken up anyway, I just went ahead. And she's sleeping in her playpen, not her "big girl" bed. She may never want to sleep in her real bed. I'm ok with that. The playpen works.

After getting back home, my dad arrived home and offered to watch Cherry while she slept so that Armondo and I could go out for dinner. It's been awhile since the two of us had a childless dinner, and that in itself was nice, but, I have to admit, things were a little tense, because all of a sudden, it turns out that instead of having three weeks home, Armondo has to go back out onto the boat right away for the next fishing run. He had already told me this on the phone the day before, but it was right before dinner that we found out that he had to go back to work on Thursday. Which means that the bbq we had planned for Friday (today) had to be cancelled, and it meant we only had two nights and one full day with him. And, it meant that he really only had one full, unpaid day off.

Tuesday night in bed, I started spewing about the issues I've been sort of dealing with. (I didn't bother him with all the dumb friend stuff though.) We had a huge cry fest, hugged lots, had good make up sex and he came up with a plan and made a promise.

He's going to work this trip, then have the next trip off. He will then work two more trips which will take us into early Dec., at which point he will have another scheduled time off, and this is when he will quit fishing and go onto EI. After the baby is born, (due early Jan) he will switch the EI to parental leave, and have a full year off at home, during which he hopes to go back to school to learn a new trade. He feels as though cooking is a good enough job to support himself, but it's just not good enough to support a growing family. And fishing just isn't good for our family. He wants his kids to have more than he did growing up. And that's the plan. We were up past 2 am discussing this stuff.

While he's gone on this run, we're going to try to plan some sort of vacation. I might take Cherry and the car on the ferry and meet him up north (The same "up north" where we were trying to move to) when the boat stops there, and then the bunch of us will do some visiting there and then drive back down through the province stopping in various towns to camp and play tourist. (The boat is on a trip from the northern tip of Vancouver Island to up north, where the boat will stop and the crew will switch over. The skipper has offered to pay for flights home for Armondo and the other guy, but Armondo is going to try to see if he'd pay for my ferry ride up instead, so we can drive home.) We haven't made a final decision on this, but it might happen. Otherwise, we'll just go camping somewhere else.

Back to my week.

On Wednesday, we went shopping. I mean, we REALLY went shopping. We spent close to $300 on rain gear, baby clothes, a new car seat, toiletries, sweats for Armondo, and other various items. It was a full day event. Yeah, Armondo had ONE day home, and we spent it shopping. Pretty typical for us. It's what we do. We shop.

I was also feeling pretty crappy all day Wednesday. Early Wednesday morning, in the middle of the night, I got up to feed and diaper Cherry, and nearly fainted. Twice. One time I totally blacked out. It was pretty frightening! I then spent the day Wednesday puking, dizzy, and exhausted. But that, of course, didn't interrupt the shopping.

Thursday morning we got up really early to all catch an early ferry, and we took Armondo back to the boat to go to work. We got a mini tour of the boat, but we didn't go into the depths of it, because, although it was REALLY clean for a fishing boat, the smell of fish was a little too much for me to take with my weak stomach. I used the toilet though, and I got to see where Armondo slept. And we saw the wheel house. That was about it. It wasn't too exciting, but it was sort of neat.

Then, Cherry and I went shopping. Hee hee.. we went to IKEA for our semi-annual trip, and bought a whole bunch of classic wooden toys including blocks and trains. We also got finger puppets, lights for her room, and a toybox for her doll clothes and accessories. (Clothes and accessories that she doesn't really own yet, but will someday.) We spent over $200. I have to say it is IMPOSSIBLE to go to Ikea and spend less than $200. Well, maybe it's possible if you live close to one and go often, but when you live far away, and rarely get to go, you tend to buy as much as can fit into your car. Well, most of the time anyway. This time, we actually only bought two bags and a couple of loose items worth, but it still was over $200.
Ikea has some cool toys!

We got back relatively early last night, so I picked up some Chinese food for dinner, which is something I've been craving forever! And I went to bed at 8:30.

Today, I cleaned pretty much the whole house, because although Armondo was awesome and did the dishes at least twice while he was home, we still pretty much let the rest of the house go while he was here. Not only that, but when we cancelled the bbq, we told people that they were still welcome to stop by, but that they would only be fed cake, and not any real food, so I had to have the house somewhat presentable. When Armondo called his mother and his aunt, both said they would stop by today, and guess what?!? Neither of them did. Ha. I should have expected that.

Ryann did stop by though, and she brought presents! She's not in town very often, so it was good to see her, even if the visit was short, and she spent half the time talking to my dad. (They went to university together, believe it or not.) She can't eat cake though due to a wheat allergy, so we had ice cream together instead.
Cherry and Ryann hanging out.

Cherry opening her present from Ryann, that contained a bunch of books. (Toy in the background was another Ikea purchase.)

Which brings me to the present time. I just finished eating my piece of cake. Alone. And it's the only piece of cake that's been cut from the slab. Why? Because I figured I'd wait until Cherry's grandmother came over to see the little one with cake all over her face. Well, she never showed, and Cherry's bedtime came and went, so she's in bed, and I'm eating her cake. I'm a nice mother! I sort of loathe my MIL.

And, now it's time for bed again, and I plan on having a good weekend.

*"doughy" is a term I use to describe Cherry when she first wakes up. Her skin is soft and squishy, she's in a total daze, and can't seem to do much more than grunt. It's pretty darn cute.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

1st Birthday Fun.

This mysterious red thing might be my new favourite toy!

That was good spaghetti dinner Mom, but I just don't think I'm dirty enough, got something

Hmm... What's this?!? Is that a BABY SIZED OREO on top?!?

I'm sorry, did you want a picture with me smiling with cake all over my face? Well, screw that,

Oh, you think THIS is dirty?!? You should have seen the bathwater afterwards!

This is my new room. Grumpa and Mom did an awesome job. I just sat and drooled and hummed on the bed for awhile before I figured I should make a mess. I don't know about sleeping on this bed, but I sure like playing on it!

More to come after the big PARTY on Friday!

Mom says:Sorry, I didn't edit any of these photos before posting them.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Things are good, just busy!

So, most of my plan for this last weekend worked out, but I got a little too busy to do everything in the plan, and the people I wanted to make plans with at the bbq got a little too drunk and weird to talk to, so I figured I'd try another time to make plans with them! (whew, how many times can you say "plan" in one sentence?!?)

So, Friday I met up with my new friend K.M., and we hit it off great. She has a couple of adorable kids, 8 and 12, and the twelve year old girl just adores Cherry. It was nice to go to the playground and have HER chase Cherry around instead of myself.

Saturday, I went to the BBQ and had a great time hanging out with everyone and eating good food. I took Cherry with me for a couple of hours, then brought her home to bed and my Dad watched her as I went back to the party. I played a game that somewhat resembled babminton, and threw my shoulder out too.

Yesterday, it was Cherry's first birthday!! YAY! I gave her a sandbox (which she loves), and after a spaghetti dinner, I gave her a chocolate cupcake (which she loved even more.)

Her "big girl room" was all painted and ready to go yesterday (thanks to Grumpa), but there was so much junk that needed to be sorted and cleaned etc, that I didn't get to present the new room to her until today. I think she really likes it! When I let her into the room (she's been watching the whole process for days from the outside of a baby gate), she just ran in, sat on her new bed, looked around, drooled and hummed for about 20 minutes. Then she broke out of her trance and started to get into everything and making a mess!

I'm still not totally sure how I'm going to get her to go to sleep in her new bed, I'm sure it's going to be a stuggle, but for her nap today, I just put her in her playpen instead of trying to fight her. She went down with about as much struggle as usual (less than 2 minutes of yelling, then 20 minutes of giggling and babbling), and then slept for 2 and a half hours.

Anyway, I will be posting some pictures later tonight, and I'll do that mandatory "sappy mom, baby birthday" post that's required of all blogging mothers. Stay tuned. (I might actually not get to those until tomorrow, 'cause I have an overdue movie to watch, but we'll see.)

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Gush and resolve

I just got to say: I love all of you guys!

After I write this post, I'll go back and answer your individual comments, but for now, I just gotta let you know how I'm doing NOW.

It seems like the way I work is: I have problems, they bug me for awhile. I articulate the problems and either write it down or talk about it. I can then start to logically think about the solution to the problems!

And that's what I've done. I have written it all out in the post below, I've taken close to 24 hours to think about it, and I've thought of some solutions.

As far as Armondo goes: He IS my best friend, and I love him dearly, and he's a great husband, and he's a hard worker, and he's an awesome father. And, I just have to come to the realization that he's not going away to fish to spite me. Which means, I shouldn't feel spite-ed? I'm a very lucky woman. I could have married a bastard that yells at me from the couch to bring him beer, and who barks orders about making dinner and changing diapers. But I didn't marry a lame-ass loser, I married an awesome man, and although I'm not 100% happy with the current arrangement, I shall keep him around a little longer.

And I've had the "aha" moment. I wasn't feeling good about myself (still working on it), so if I couldn't love myself, and feel good about myself, then how could I see Armondo for all that he really is?!?

Ok, so on to the friends thing.
Here's the plan:

~Hang out with friend #1 more often (the one I don't bad mouth). And if we can't hang out, don't forget to call her at least once every few days.
~Hang out with friend #2 more often, but only in non-public places, so that I don't get angry about how her and her child behave. And don't talk about her in a bad way. Ever. (I can't let this friendship slide, 'cause even though I bad mouth her, I love her, and her whole family means so much to me! I'm her kid's godmother, afterall!)
~Call up old friends that I still like and make plans to actually hang out (instead of saying "we should hang out sometime" and then never doing it).
~Stop feeling like I would be "imposing" by doing all the work and making plans. (Thanks to Tricia for the nudge on these last two!)
~Go to Bbqs and gatherings when invited. Just do it. Don't make excuses. (Why do I do that anyway?!?)
~Hang out more with the people who are more like me. The type of people I actually want to hang out with, and stop feeling left out when the people I don't really want to hang out with don't include me in things. (I've been working on and off at two different jobs for AGES now. One is at a hardware store, the other is at a restaurant. Most of the hardware people are pretty cool people. MY kind of people. And they're really good about including everyone in events that go on. In fact, there's a bbq this weekend that I'm going to. The girls at the restaurant, aren't my kind of people, and I need to stop wanting to fit in-it just ain't going to happen!)

So, my plans for this weekend so far?

Tomorrow- meet up with that new online friend I've just made. We're taking our kids to the park. (Oh, and it turns out that the reason why she didn't email me or call me was because her daughter was screwing with the computer and she's been having troubles getting online, and here I was getting all neurotic!)
Saturday- Go to the hardware crew bbq. And make plans to hang out with some of them at a future time!
Sunday- Have a small celebration for Cherry's birthday, including giving her some of her presents, and hopefully revealing her new "big girl room", which my dad is thisclose to finishing!

And starting Sunday night, I will be calling up other friends and making plans for the following week!

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Be warned, it's pathetic!

Okay, so there's new news about Armondo.

He's coming home earlier. Still not in time for Cherry's Birthday, but a little earlier. Das is good.

Here's the thing guys. I'm not doing so well right now. K just wrote a post that made me realize that I should really talk some stuff out. I'm not doing this to get any sympathy, or to get any "help", it's just more so that I've taken the time to document it, because, like I've explained before, this is my only "diary" that I keep, and I think it would be dishonest if I left something like this out of it. If you bothered to read K's post, maybe you could take the time to read the comment I left too, this will let you know that really, I'm aware that most of my crazy feelings are mostly due to pregnancy and lack of sleep.

Check it out, (quick, who am I trying to impersonate?!?) It's a little pitchy at parts, but...

I'm a bit of a mess. I started writing a post the other day about it, but hit "save as draft" instead of post, because it was just too darned depressing. (This one might not be any better.)

I'm tired. I'm depressed. I'm lonely. Cherry and my dad just aren't doing it for me. I want my husband back. In the same breath, I've been getting so pissed off about this whole fishing thing that I've just been stewing and been thinking "maybe it would just be better if he NEVER came back, I don't need him anyway, maybe I should just leave, just take the kid and go" But then, I think "Well that would be stupid-sort of like expelling a kid from school for playing hookey."

Following me here?

No? ok, IF I did leave Armondo, because he was never around, then he'd be around less, and I would either have to go on welfare, or sap a lot of child support out of him, making all of us in a worse financial situation than we already are. And it's not like I'm interested in anyone else, so all in all, it's just a stupid idea. And then I get mad about the fact that in reality, I actually DO need him. Ugh, when did I lose my independence?!?

And, I have no friends. Well, that's a bit of a lie. I have all of YOU guys, right?!? Right?! are you my friends!?!? PUHLEESE BE MY FRIENDS!!

Ha ha, no, in reality, here, in my town, I have a total of two friends who I actually hang out with, and, in all honesty, I'm not a good friend to one of them. I try to be a good friend to her, but I can't help but CONSTANTLY bad mouth her. I bad mouth her to my other one friend, I bad mouth her to friends who live far away, to my grandmother, and to Armondo, who, is just as bad as I am and, bad mouths (mouthes?) her too. (she doesn't know about this blog-let's just keep this our little secret.) Here's the thing though. I want to stop talking s#it about her. But it seems like anytime I hang out with her, she (or her child) does something that I just plain don't approve of. And I'm sure most of you know me pretty well by now. I'm an opinionated b!tch, and it's darn hard for me to bite my tongue! Whew. Ok, now that I've put it in writing, maybe I'll be more likely to stick to it. I WILL NOT BAD MOUTH SAID FRIEND ANYMORE. Ok, but here's the part where I DO ask for help... What do I do INSTEAD of bad mouthing her? (First thing that pops into my head is "say something nice about her".. ok, what do I say that's nice? "She looks good in that blue dress." Instant thought that comes to mind? "Well, she'd BETTER look good in that dress, 'cause it's the only thing she EVER wears!") See, I'm a jerk. It just happens. Verbal diarrhea. umm.. even just internal verbal diarrhea. How do you fix a problem like that?!?

Ok, so.. along the same lines of having no friends... See, while I was planning on moving, I sort of let a lot of friendships slide. On purpose, 'cause really, if you do it slowly, it's easier, right? Well, our house never sold, and now I'm here for at least another year, and hey, guess what?! Yeah, I'm lonely. I'm sort of trying to pick up some friendships where I left off, but you know what else? I just sort of don't really like some of the people that I let slide. I'm just not into the same things as they are. I don't do Weight Watchers, I'm not really into scrapbooking, I don't have the money to put my kid in extremely cute outfits from the Gap, I don't have a shoe collection that rivals Madonna's. I can't just go clubbing and camping all the time. Maybe I'm jealous, and I'd like to be JUST LIKE THEM, but I know I never will be. Even if I did have the cash, I don't think I'd be like them. (But I could use some more shoes!)

And I sort of missed out on the whole "baby group" thing, and now that I'm "ready" to make new friends and meet people, it just happens to be summer, and there are no baby groups in the summer. So, I sit lonely on a summer evening, waiting for an email from a possible new friend that I met online. And you know what? I'm doing that dumb self-loathing thing with that too. "Why hasn't she emailed me back yet?! Does she already think I'm a loser?! She hasn't even met me in real life. Did I say something stupid? If she hasn't emailed me, does that mean that she actually has a life and hasn't sat on the computer all evening like I have?!?"

Man, am I pathetic!

Like I mentioned before, I know that most of my feelings have to do with hormones and lack of sleep, but it doesn't make me feel any better about it. The worse part of this whole, entire thing is that the absolute best time of the day for me, is nap time. How horrible is that?!?

Don't get me wrong, I AM ok, I love my kid, I love most aspects of my life (like most stuff that occurs within the four walls of my house), it's just when everything winds down, and I look at the clock after Cherry's gone to bed, and all that I can look forward to for the evening is being on the internet and doing the dishes. I have no husband to talk to, no friends to call, and even my dad has gone and holed himself up in his room. Yeah, that's my problem. The evenings. I was fine all day today! I was fine all day yesterday during the day too. It's just the evenings (and first thing in the morning). I need people to talk to in the evenings. I need friends to come visit me after Cherry goes to bed. I need to read more.


Monday, July 03, 2006


So, the cute little guys that I talked about a few days ago, have all left their nest and found other places to hang out. At least one of them chose to stay in our yard.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Armondo called today. He's coming home on the 18th! HA HA HA HA HA HA!...

For those of you who haven't been following along, just take a look at that ticker up on the right.

Get it now?! That's right. He's missing his daughter's first birthday.

I'm re-scheduling the party, so I guess Cherry wouldn't even notice the difference.

Doesn't make me any less pissed off. I don't know exactly who or what I'm pissed at, 'cause it's beyond both his and my control, but I'm pissed none the less.

A while ago, one of the guys on the boat broke his foot (I mentioned that already), and when they went into dock, they fueled up the boat, expecting to have to run a couple of extra days. Well, now, the company who owns the boat has said that they have to run the boat until they run out of fuel. Meaning an extra 10 days of fishing for the crew.


Saturday, July 01, 2006


So, today we went to our friends' house and celebrated the annual BBBB party. (That's Beer, Bocci, Bbq, Bash). We go there every year on July first to celebrate R.'s birthday and Canada Day. This is the second year in a row that I've been pregnant, so I haven't taken part in the "beer" the past couple of times, but I still go and have a good time. This year there were plenty of little ones there and Cherry really seemed to enjoy herself. All the photos I took were crappy, including this one, so I'm hoping that I get emailed some good ones!