Got Milk?

Today I went to the chiropractor for the first time. I've been hesitant to do this before due to the price of it and because I wasn't sure if I should go to a chiropractor, a podiatrist, or a massage therapist. Finally, the pain in my back got so bad that I just decided to start at the chiropractor. No, I didn't really do any research or anything to back my decision, I just looked up the chiropractor in the phone book and thought I'd take my chances.

Well, it was a very interesting experience. Here, in note form are some of the highlights...

~The doc said I was "too messed up for my age."

~He also explained that my pelvis is twisted, and that would explain why I had a difficult delivery with Cherry, and why both babies found it hard to "drop".

~Said I would need orthopedics, but should do some chiropractic work first, because back work can change foot shape, and orthopedics can shift my back, so I should wait until part way through my back work to get my feet worked on.

~He fondled my butt. I have not had a man other than my husband fondle my ass in a LOT of years. It wasn't nearly as exciting as I wish it could have been.

~I almost fainted after he cracked my back. It felt like I was drunk. And it hurt like a son of a gun. And still hurts now. But apparently it has to get worse before it gets better, or something.

~The doc giggled when I explained what was wrong and I used jargon such as "My muscles on the right side are compensating for the slipped disk." He asked me what I did for a living, and I answered "Uhh. I'm a mom." to which he laughed and said he was impressed with my knowledge of the jargon.

~And, completely unrelated to chiropractics, the doc seems to think that I have a milk allergy! He saw my "rash" on the back of my arms and the circles under my eyes, and using those as indicators, he asked a bunch of other questions, and my answers all lead to the conclusion that I must have a milk allergy. And Cherry might too.

~So, now Armondo has gone crazy looking up dairy free recipes for us. What a sweet heart!

~And I've been so close to tears all day. I love milk. So much. No more Alfredo sauce. No more whip cream. No more milk on my cereal.

~BUT! If I AM allergic to milk, and stopping my consumption fixes all of my problems, I should lose weight, my bowels should get better, my arm rash should go away, my eczema should get cleared up, the circles under my eyes should lighten and I should have more energy. Sounds like a miracle cure.

I'll let you know!