Saturday, September 09, 2006

Boy Vs. Girl

Boy Vs. Girl

Awhile ago, I posted one reason why I didn't really want a boy. It had to do with boy pee. Well, now I delve a little deeper and try to figure out the pros and cons to having a boy vs. another girl.

First up: Boy hair.

When Armondo's brother Dill was here, I got to experience full fledged boy hair again. Armondo is a pretty hairy guy (come on, it's sexy, we all know it.) and I often find his body hair here and there, and, well, everywhere. One place I usually don't find it is in the shower, because I have TRAINED him. That, and I've banned bar soap from the shower 'cause I was sick of having to pull pubes off the bar before I used it.

But when Dill came to visit, I got to experience boy hair again. ALL OVER THE TUB. EWWWW. Luckily, he only showered once the whole week he was here. (I don't know why, but boys seem to think that going swimming is just as good as showering.) As I was rinsing all the boy hair down the drain (fully aware that that meant that I would probably have to clean it out of the drain at a future date, but totally ignoring that fact) I thought about if I had a boy, I'd have another male to TRAIN about body hair in the shower.

And that's the thing. I know that I can train a boy to be clean, but I'm so not looking forward to that. And, also, I'm fully aware that Cherry will need to be trained as well, but I just feel like it won't be so embarrassing 'cause we're both female.

Second: Hand me downs.

If I have another girl, we're set. We'd have all sorts of clothes for her, most of which are in pretty good shape. Less expense for us!

The problem with that is... heirlooms. How do you split family heirlooms between two girls? And what about the concept of ownership? I mean, Cherry has an old doll of mine, some old stuffies, and some old dresses of mine. If another girl comes along, she'll play with the same stuff, wear the same dresses, and when they're older and start having their own kids, who gets which dress and who gets the Raggedy Anne doll that their great-great-great grandmother mother made? (It'll be four "greats" when they pass it on to THEIR children!)

Third: Shopping.

If it's a boy, I only have a few things that are suitable. When I was pregnant the first time, friends and family gave us both boy and girl hand me downs, and I kept them because I knew I was planning on a second child soon after.

But, having a boy, and not having enough clothes give me a great excuse to go SHOPPING! And really, who doesn't love shopping for baby clothes?

A side note: I haven't actually bought anything for this baby yet. Is that bad? I'm five months pregnant and I haven't even looked at newborn clothes.

Fourth: Balance.

Having a boy will throw off the balance in this Zoo. There can only be one boy. That boy is Armondo. In all the time we've lived together, there has never been another boy who has lasted.

First, we got a male guinea pig. He died within a week. He was free from the pet store that I frequented, so although it was sad, it was more like we were babysitting him until he died sort of thing because the pet store was overrun with male guinea pigs.

Then, there was the rooster. He was beautiful. He was a bantam (small) and was a silky (soft, hair-like feathers) and he wasn't very tough or very agile. He froze to death in the winter because he couldn't jump high enough to sit with the hens to keep warm. We felt pretty bad about that one.

Then there was Beatlejuice. He was a very cute, lovable, black kitten who had this adorable quirk where he would "latch on" to Annie's jowels and would suckle. He was great, but he pissed everywhere, and we couldn't get him to stop. I took him to the vet, and she couldn't give me an answer, and because I was pregnant, and we had just installed new carpets in the bedrooms, I couldn't deal with cleaning up male cat pee all the time, so I took him to the SPCA. It was very tough, I cried and cried. He got adopted quite quickly though because the vet that the SPCA took him to, figured out right away that it was a urine crystal problem and it was cured by changing his diet. (That made me more sad, 'cause I gave up on him so easily, and it was an easy cure. But I tried my best, darnit!)

Then there was Neo, the dog. He was a nice looking husky/collie cross. Annie loved hanging out with him and the two of them would play fight all the time. But Neo wasn't a good dog. He escaped the yard over and over, he chewed shoes, blankets, stuffed toys, and wasn't fully house trained. But we were the third family to adopt him, and Annie loved him, so I kept him despite these faults. But then, he did the unthinkable. I was pregnant with Cherry, and I had my then three year old God son "O." over, and Neo started to get jealous of him. The little guy couldn't go into any room without the dog following him and barking, and one time when I picked O. up, Neo actually barked, growled and nipped at his feet. It took two days of decision making, but I made up my mind and we returned him to the SPCA. I couldn't choose a dog over the safety of little ones.

And there have only been females besides that, and we've never had problems with the females, except for one, but we were just cat-sitting her, and she wasn't really ours.

So, I'm not saying that anything bad would happen to a boy if he was born into the family, but it just seems like there's this delicate balance, you know? But hey, if Armondo's fishing all the time, maybe there'd be room for another male!?!

Five: Sibling Rivalry.

I have this vision of my two kids sharing a bedroom and getting along great and sharing friends, etc. I know, it's not a realistic fantasy, but oh well.

I watch movies and I see siblings interacting and I'm always thinking "oh, I want my kids to be like that!" I see pairs of kids in shopping carts in the mall, and I point them out to Armondo, saying "oh look, those two little girls are so cute together, don't you think they're cute?!?" Then he points out a boy and girl together and tells me how cute THEY are.

I don't have a lot of experience with siblings. I do have a brother, but he's six years younger than me, I only lived with him until he was 10, and he was a half brother and was VERY protected by his mother, so we never even had the CHANCE to be rivals. And I don't talk to him anymore, so I have no idea how siblings interact. So, on this one, I need your opinions. Boy and girl a good combo? or two girls? I mean, it's not like I have a CHOICE, but it'll be interesting to know what you have to say.

Six: Marital rivalry.

This is what it all really comes down to. In all honesty, I'd love to have either a boy or a girl. All the above questions are just silly. But the REAL reason why I have these questions and these thoughts is because it sure is fun to tease my husband who wants a boy in order to have a "set". That, and he wants a kid he can call "Junior." (LAME) He wants to name a child after him, and even if we have a boy, I'm not going to let him. The boy can have hubby's first name as his middle name, but that's it. And I REFUSE to call any of my kids "Junior"! (The only exception is if the baby is born on hubby's birthday AND it's a boy, THEN, and only then, can the boy have the same first name. But I still refuse to call him Junior!)


maidink said...

If you have a girl, Armondo might go insane with the rampant PMS that may occur. I've seen it happen. It's quite scary.

If you have a boy, well, train him, go shopping, Armondo will always be the Alpha, close ages tend to get along pretty good, and call the kid whatever you want. I skipped the hand-me down thing (unless Armondo has hand-me downs and/or heirlooms lying around anywhere).

maidink said...

Oh yeah


and Second!

Sarah said...

There are three girls in my family and I always wished I had a brother. You see, because my dad is kind of emotionally absent, I never had any interaction with males. This seriously stunted my social growth. I wished I could interact with boys. It's all good now though.

As for the benefits of having 2 girls... I wish I could help, but we had three and that screws up any theory. I'm not close to either of my sisters, but they are close.

But anyways, good luck with all that. Ya don't get a choice in the matter anyway.

Anonymous said...

growing up it was great to have a sister (we are less than 18 months apart) but as we got older we really grew apart from each other. but my brother and i (4 years apart) still have a lot of fun together. i'm not saying that we get along better because i'm a girl and he's a guy, because it think its more about our personalities. perhaps you need to think about having a girl AND a boy. then you have more girls, but they get to have the opportunity of having a brother and a sister each. its good all around ;)


Melora said...

Two girls would be convenient from the hand-me-downs and room sharing angle. They might or might not get along better than a boy and girl.
Ed did a happy dance in the parking lot as we left the doctor's office when we found out we were having a boy. His little girl has him completely Wrapped around her little fingers. I love having one of each, but I know I'd be just as happy if I had two boys or two girls.

Erin said...

My sister is 9 (almost 10) years younger than me, so my interaction with her has sort of been as a combination mother and sister. I think that either way will be wonderful. I mean, we all know that you have the cutest toddler on earth, right? How could the second one be anything but?

CeCe said...

Maidink~I don't PMS. I get sore and a little sappy, but I don't get pissy. You can even ask ARmondo about that.

Sarah~Luckily Armondo is very actively involved when he IS around.

Sarah and Ellure~I don't think I could have an odd number of kids. I'd be too worried about one being left out.

Melora~Yeah, I'd be happy either way too.

Erin~Thanks, I think she's cute too. Two too cute ones might be too much to handle!

Sarah said...

You're right. I have always said that I would NEVER have 3 kids like my parents did: in our situation, one of us WAS always left out. But then... the youngest was an "accident."

K. said...

No you are not bad. I haven't bought a single newborn item either and I am about as far along as you. And guess what, I probably WON'T. Boy or girl.