Meat, fishing, work, shoes, child tips, fertility, a rant, and some closure.

There are a few things I feel I need to talk about. You know, some loose ends to tie up.

I got some of Jack's meat. It was dang tasty. I got some of his rump, his sausage, and some hamburger, among other cuts. Usually, when someone gives you some of their meat, you only get pepperoni or sausage, but Jack (and his wife) are very generous with the meat, and I have to say that moose meat roast is very yummy!

***

I only quickly mentioned it before, but Armondo is off working on a boat right now being the cook. He's hoping that it will work out well and that the guys on the boat will like him enough to offer him a crew position when one comes up. A crew spot would give him two to three times the amount of money he's making cooking. This particular boat is a dragger, and has many different licenses, so it runs year-round with the two crews taking turns taking three and a half weeks on and three and a half weeks off. If Armondo stays with this boat, then he'll try to get two shifts off in a row in Dec-Jan so that he'll be home for the birth of the baby. Right now they're dragging for a type of fish called "idiots". He was planning on trying to get some experience up on the deck when he wasn't actually cooking, but I found his fishing license lying on the bedroom floor today, so I don't know if he'll be allowed to.

***

So, I'm no longer working. I still have my foot in the door at both places, but I'm off the schedule. Since I quit at the restaurant, I have covered one shift, and I'm open to cover more if needed and if I can get a sitter. I might cover shifts at the hardware store when Armondo's home if they need me, say, if someone goes on vacation or something.

***

When I saw Tricia the other day, she had a nice gift for Cherry. It was a pair of Robeez. I've always liked the look and the idea of these shoes, but the high price tag turned me off. But not anymore! I have been convinced! They average at around $30 a pair, which seems like a lot for baby shoes, but not only are they made of REAL leather, they're comfortable, they STAY ON, they're durable, and they last through several sizes. I was turned off by the price tag, but after thinking about how long they would actually fit, I would have to buy 3-4 pairs of $5-$10 shoes to last the same amount of time. And Cherry has never kept a pair of shoes on for longer than a few minutes. These ones she doesn't even TRY to take off! In fact, I'm so convinced that these are a good buy, that I hopped over to Ebay and bought a gently used pair there. (Don't tell Armondo-it's on his credit card hee hee).

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Also, while visiting Tricia, we also spent some time with her aunt and 12 year old cousin. Her aunt runs a day care out of her home, and Cherry was VERY excited to get to play with all the toys there. It was interesting hanging out with Aunt E. I like to get good advice from people who have more experience than me with stuff, so I took the opportunity to ask questions, and to take in some suggestions. One thing I've been having troubles with Cherry with is that she really squirms and struggles when we change her diaper. Aunt E. suggested that I was just firm with her and didn't laugh or encourage the behaviour. These, of course are things, I KNEW, but to have someone who had actually DONE it with SEVERAL kids tell me how, it sort of sunk in. It's only been a couple of days, and my firmness is working. Cherry cries now when I change her diaper, which isn't so fun, but it gets done quickly and we can get back to playing.

Another thing that Aunt E. does that I thought was good (And it was something Tricia pointed out as being a good thing) is that she doesn't tell her kids "no", she tells them "no thank you." What a brilliant thing! I mean, I believe that "no" is necessary. I don't think that "redirection" or whatever is always do-able, esp, if you're yelling across a room to tell a kid "no". But, putting that "thanks" on the end, just makes it that much more polite, and respectful, that it just seems like a good thing to do. Tricia tells me that because of this method, the little kids in the daycare now yell "no thank you" to eachother instead of just "no". Perfect. Genius!

***

The night before last was a bit of a mixture of heaven and hell. I ended up going to bed at 9pm, and not the 8pm that I had planned, but it was still "early" by my standards, and it's a good thing I went to bed when I did! Before my head actually hit the pillow, Cherry woke up crying. I let her fuss for a few minutes before I went to check on her, trying to allow her to fall back to sleep on her own. She wasn't going back to sleep, so I went into her room, and seconds after giving her a soother and covering her up, she fell right back to sleep.

At 9:30, one of my close neighbours started mowing their lawn. Who STARTS mowing their lawn at 9:30pm?!? A couple of minutes later, I heard some yelling, and the mowing stopped. I guess it pissed off another neighbour as well.

At 11pm, Cherry woke up. Time for a diaper change and a bottle.

At 3pm, she wakes up again

SORRY, I JUST NEED TO INTERRUPT FOR A SECOND!!! THE OILERS JUST WON!!! THE SERIES CONTINUES!!

Whew.. sorry about that.. where was I?

Right, 3pm. The kid wakes up AGAIN. This time, there is no easy way to put her back down. She is PISSED OFF. She's not going back to sleep. Mommy needs sleep though, so I scoop her up and take her into bed with me. I remember that I had to do this the last time Armondo went away too. That time, I think I attributed it to teething mostly. I know now, that she really DOES miss her dad once she realizes that he's really gone.

Anyway, a little side story here. My kid isn't really all that cuddly. The last time she was REALLY cuddly was when she was five months old and still breast feeding. Giving up the cuddling was the saddest part of giving up the breast feeding. Lately though, she's been coming around. She's been giving way more hugs, and will sit still for a few seconds at a time for cuddles.

So, I took her into my bed, and for the next 45 minutes the two of us had a nice, quiet cuddle. She spent some time pulling on my eyelashes, and sticking her fingers up my nose, but most of the time was spent gently stroking eachother's hair and poking at my belly button. It was very nice, and I thought, for just a minute that she might actually fall asleep in my arms. I was mistaken. At quarter to 4 in the morning, Cherry started jumping, crawling, and walking around the bed, laughing at the cats, and taunting Annie. It was time to put her back into her own bed. I gave her some more milk, and put her in her crib, and she fell asleep right away.

At 6am, she woke up. I ignored her. I came up with a new rule. "Baby stays in bed until at least 7am. Period." So, she just babbled to herself for half an hour or so, then went back to sleep and woke up for good at 8am.

At 9am, that neighbour finished mowing his lawn.

She then had two big naps yesterday, and slept well last night, waking up only once for a diaper change and a bottle, which is normal for her, and just how I like it. She fussed at 6am, but I ignored her again, and she slept until 8am again. Beautiful. We then had two very long naps today. I'm starting to feel a little more human again.

***

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this or not, but we've got plans for Cherry's "big girl" room. We bought her a "junior" bed and we've picked out some paint and some bedding for her new room. I'm not sure if/when I'll get some time to actually work on her room, but the plan is to have it done by her birthday, or shortly there after. I'm really excited about the switch. Cherry might still be a bit too young for the junior bed, but I'd like to give it a try. If it doesn't work, then we'll just move the crib into her new room, and try again in a couple of months. I'd like her to be in the junior bed before the new baby arrives. I don't want any jealousy issues.

I have all sorts of plans for new toys and stuff for her birthday and for the "big girl" switch. I would love to just go out and buy a bunch of stuff now, but I'm going to wait until after her birthday, so I can see what she gets for gifts before I run out and buy stuff. One thing for sure that we'll buy her will be a sandbox with a lid for the yard.

I'm planning her birthday by myself, because, of course, Armondo isn't going to be around for the planning, but will be home for the party. We're going to have two parties. One will be with friends, and the other will be for family.

How does this sound?
Saturday, party from 3-5pm, cake at 4pm. Rainbow theme. Guests wear head-to-toe all one colour. Rainbow cupcakes. Rainbow colour balloons.

Sunday, family dinner. Free cake from local grocery store.

Short, simple, to the point.

***

I'm so sick with this pregnancy. It's just as bad as the last time. I had this wishful thinking that I wasn't sick in the beginning. I was so wrong.

I'm thankful though. Being sick means I'm pregnant. I'm blessed to even BE pregnant. So many women I know either can't get pregnant, or have major problems getting pregnant. It also seems like a lot of women around right now are having miscarriages.

It makes me feel a little guilty. I know so many women, so many WONDERFUL women who can't have children. Women who LOVE children so much, but can't conceive. What makes me able to have children when these women cannot? I'm so happy about being pregnant, yet I bitch about being sick. I feel like a jerk sometimes. When I talk to these women, I feel so bad anytime I talk about my pregnancy. I feel like maybe they might think I'm gloating, or rubbing it in their face that it's so "easy, he only has to look at me." I'm sorry. But I'm also thankful. And I know I'm lucky and blessed.

But, it brings up something else that really pisses me off...

Ok. OBVIOUSLY, I'm fertile. As soon as I made up my mind to get pregnant, and once I had the timing right, I got pregnant. Twice. In ten years of having sex.

Why is it that in Canada, where medical is cheap and birth control is easily and cheaply available, are there women having unwanted babies? We have sex-ed in schools, there's "planned parenthood", you can just walk into the health unit and grab handfuls of condoms, as well as buy birth control for $5 a month. My doctor gave me 6 months worth of "sample" birth control when I was a teenager, and then gave me three more months worth a couple of years later when I was strapped for cash.

Why are there unwanted babies? Why is our foster care system overloaded? STOP HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX! IT'S REALLY EASY TO PREVENT UNWANTED BABIES! And for those of you who have used a particular type of birthcontrol to have it fail, it might be a good idea to switch to something else, instead of continuing to use it and have a third unplanned pregnancy. (In this particular case, the first pregnancy was unplanned and without protection, the second one was with an IUD and ended with a miscarriage, and the third was with an IUD and ended up producing a healthy, yet pre-mature baby, who wasn't planned.) Sorry, I'm done my rant.

***

I'm happy that the house if off the market. It's such a relief. I can relax now. The house isn't perfectly clean, and it's ok. I don't have to worry about someone showing up in an hour to look at it. I can bring my barbies out of storage and put them on display again. I can clutter up my office nook again. I can get ready for the big girl room switch and freshen up the baby's room, because I know I'll be here for at least a year. And I think it's all part of God's master plan. I don't think we were really meant to move to that particular town we were thinking of. I mean, if the sinking of the ferry up there wasn't a sign, I don't know what is. But we're going to go visit up there sometime this summer. Armondo actually still has some stuff in his work locker that he left up there 'cause we thought we'd be up there by now.

I still want to move. I think we need a bigger house. One more room would be good. Another bathroom would help too. We're still planning on moving next year, but we're going to fix the roof and fix some flooring issues by next year. And I don't think we'll be moving north. We'll probably head east.

Another good thing about not moving is that I can make friends now. I've met some people lately whom I have wanted to befriend, but didn't bother because I thought we were moving. But now I can just invite them over and hang out. It feels good!

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And now I must clean the kitchen, then go to bed. Who knows how much sleep Cherry will let me have tonight?!?