I Really Shouldn't Be Upset About This,

This evening, I went to the grocery store with my two daughters. When we go out, we (they) always get a lot of attention. And tonight wasn't any different.

As soon as we walked through the door, the greeter started telling my girls how beautiful they were. This old grandfatherly type of guy went on to ask Cherry about her Hallowe'en costume and sort of kept the girls engaged while I waited to use the bank machine. (It wasn't creepy in the slightest, just so that's clear.)

And then, throughout the store, other customers would say "hi" and tell them they were cute and or beautiful, etc.

Then, this one man came up to the kids and started talking to Peach. He was asking her how she was, and telling me how beautiful my baby was, and how "good" my baby was. During all this time, Cherry was saying "Hi! I'm (insert real name here)!" and was trying to get his attention too. He was completely ignoring Cherry. She's sort of use to this, because Peach is the BABY, so she gets a little more attention, but in general, the person doing the gawking will turn to pay attention to Cherry after a few seconds. Well, not in this case. The man didn't turn towards my sweet pigtailed little girl who was dying for attention as well.

I found it weird that he wouldn't turn to talk to Cherry, and I wondered "why?" but the whole event probably lasted a little more than 30 seconds. It was when when the man said "Gee, doesn't talk much..." looking towards Peach, and after I said "Yeah, she's the quiet one!" that I finally clued in to what was happening.

"Oh! She! It's a girl! I thought she was a boy!" The East Indian man said as he suddenly quit his lollygagging, and walked away.

"She's wearing mostly PINK!" I exclaimed as he walked away.

And then I almost teared up.

In a split second, I felt sad for Cherry 'cause she didn't get the attention, sad for Peach because she was adored one second, then became a whole lot less important as soon as her sex was discovered, and then, I felt sad for over half of the population of India.

I adore my girls. In fact, I'm glad I had girls instead of boys. (Not that I have anything against boys.... except for the pee thing.) And I cannot even imagine living in a world where raising a daughter is "like watering a neighbour's garden".*

We're lucky where we live. Women on this continent may still have a ways to go until we will be earning the same wages for the same work done as men, and may struggle with other inequalities, but at least we're not second class citizens. And I really shouldn't have been bothered by that man's reaction, but I just couldn't help it.

My girls could have been born in any country, to any set of parents, but they were born here and to me, and I adore them. They are important. They are NOT any less important than any boy. And I intend to let them know that as they grow up!


*This is a paraphrase and translation of an Indian saying.

Whew...

Oh, I'm so glad the conflict is over! My SIL and I talked it over, and everything is cool.

Turns out that *I* was more the crazy one than her. (Not that that surprises me or anything.)

Turns out she was more mad that the blog was a secret, and there was the THOUGHT that I could be writing something bad about her rather than her actually reading anything that upset her.

And on MY end, I was getting really upset because she wasn't answering any of the messages I was sending her online, and I was thinking worse case scenario that she totally hated me and that the kids would lose their relationships and the whole nine yards. Turns out that her computer AT HOME was automatically signing her into the messaging program, and she wasn't getting the messages on her laptop she's using at her mother's house.

Armondo was right when he said I was making this into a bigger deal than it really was.

And I'm so glad he was!

Ciao for now. I have dishes to do.

Does this describe my blog?

According to her facebook status, my sister in law....


"is thinking of creating her own clandestine blog that is severely biased and defamatory."

My SIL has stopped talking to me. You know, the one whom I just spent the better part of a month hanging out with during my vacation. The one who has two kids the same age as mine. The one whom I drove with for two days through the majority of my province, Etc. Etc.

I don't want to get into it too much until this resolves itself, but I seriously cannot believe how crazy people can be. Armondo is going to call his mother and sister tonight to see if he can straighten things out. It, IS, of course, his fault. The funny thing is I had SUCH a great time on that trip, and I wanted to tell you all about it, but this current situation has really clouded the whole experience! Sucky.

Like I need another reason to sleep!

This is too good not to blog about....

I'm having an affair.

With the man of my dreams.

Literally!

Ok, it's not just one man, but he (they) is (are) in my dreams.

I honestly enjoy being married, and I love my life (these days :P) and I wouldn't jeopardise my family for anything, but I sort of miss that "new" feeling you get when you meet a new person and fall in love. You know? The first time you hold hands, the first time you kiss, the first time you tell the other person you love them, and the feeling you get when you wait to see if they're going to return the sentiment.....

Well, it's been happening in my dreams and it's been awesome.

I have very vivid dreams. I smell, I hear, I taste, I feel. The emotions are real. I will feel happy, sad, angry, scared, hot and cold all in the same dream.

I other words, my dreams are real to me.

Some may say that dreams aren't real, (and logically, of course they aren't) but if you (I) can experience all of the same emotions and sensations in dreams, then who's to say that it's not "real"?

In other words, while I might be feeling a little "comfortable" in this marriage, I'm getting all the "excitement" I need in my dreams.

Of course, this is probably something Armondo might not find amusing, and he might even get slightly offending by this series of dreams I've been having, but I see it as a really good thing.

I cannot control what I dream, but I can control how I act in my waking hours, but as long as I'm living an exciting "night" life, I don't even have the slightest desire to try to fulfill those needs in my waking life!

"Ok, ok, get on with it already! Tell us those sexy dreams!"

Haha, ok..

So, I've had a few, but in the early hours of this morning I was having a nice one, and it CONTINUED when I had a nap this afternoon! How awesome is that?

Anyway. This nice, dark, handsome, young! guy who was sort of a mixture of Dr. Mohinder Suresh and Sayid was totally into me. He was shy at first, and didn't even want to give me his number, but before the end of the dream, I was meeting his mother. We went through all the motions of meeting each other, getting to know each other, and falling in love. But we didn't even have sex... hmmm.. sorry, I guess it wasn't that sexy of a dream... BUT TO ME IT WAS!!! ha ha. In the second installment of the dream, things weren't all that great, because somehow Armondo was on to me, and I was trying to hide it from him.. but he was also having an affair with an ex-coworker of ours. Anyway....

It was fun while it lasted, but I hope to meet my handsome Indian* hottie again tonight, or at least one more time in my night life. But then again, we've already gone through all those fun and awkward firsts, so maybe it's time for a new man ;)

And Armondo... I still love you more. You're more amazing than my night hotties, but a girl needs a little variety once in awhile, you know? Especially on these long, lonely, fall nights while you're away!


*The actor that plays Sayid is from Indian descent, and not from the Middle East like his character.

The reason.

Armondo let it "slip" that I wrote a blog under the name of "CeCe" and now some of my inlaws googled it and have this address, so that's why I have changed the accessibility. I don't know what to do now. I want to cry. I love this blog (though the lack of posting might not really reflect that) and I don't want to change my name and address, etc. I thought the name I chose for my husband was pretty clever, but google it together with "Cherry"and "Peach", and my blog is the first to pop up. So, if I start a new blog, I'll need to change my name and "Armondo" at the very least.

So, for now, it'll just be limited access. Grrr.

Hiding my blog

If you use bloglines to read this blog, you'll be able to see this message. I've changed the access to my blog. If you want to be able to read it, send me an email celenaszoo at hotmail dot com and I will either approve you or not.