Thank you all for your feedback regarding my mother. I was sort of surprised by the emotional response I got from some of you, but I appreciate the thought that has gone into the emails and comments. And yes, Andrea, you're probably right on both counts.
On another note... I've noticed lately that a lot of people's RSS feeds are not working. I've discovered that I haven't been keeping up with some blogs because Bloglines isn't picking up your feed. It seems to be happening with some blogs that have switched over to the new blogger. So, if I haven't been commenting, but you're on my list, that might be why. I simply do not know that you're updating! (and if the same thing is happening with my feed, please let me know!)
Holy crap, the laundry doesn't stop! Peach is going through 4-5 sleepers and blankets a day right now due to spoiling them with various bodily fluids. Add that to Cherry' average of three outfits a day due to messy eating, along with regular household laundry, and I tell ya, there's just no end to it! I used cloth diapers with Cherry in the beginning, and I'd love to do that with Peach too, but the thought of MORE laundry almost makes me weep!
Oh, and I never mentioned this before, but Peach was really RED when she was born, and her feet and hands stayed pretty red/purple right up until today. Now they're nice and peachy coloured! (Just in case you care, of course.)
How's that for a random post?
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
My Mother... again.
For the back story, click here and read the second part and its links.
So, after that phone call, my mother basically kept in touch by phoning every day or two. Until Peach was born. The day she was born, my mother called, and I was already in bed, so she told Armondo she'd call back the next day.
She didn't call again for ten days.
The call came this past Wednesday.
Ma: So, I've got a place lined up, and a job lined up, and I'm thinking of going to college.
Me: Oh, that's great! Good for you. You sound sad though, are you ok?
Ma: Well, *sniff* I don't get my (welfare) check until tomorrow and I don't have any money for the rent (at the motel) and they're going to kick me out if I don't pay.
Me: Well, can't welfare provide you with some sort of document stating that you're getting your money tomorrow or something?
Ma: No... I was wondering if I could borrow some money from you just for today....
I told her "no" and explained how, you know, we're living employment insurance cheque to cheque while Armondo's not working, so I don't really have any money to spare. (Not to mention the fact that both my father and grandmother told me "DO NOT LEND HER ANY MONEY" when I told them she was back in touch.)
Then she asked if I could possibly drive her to the ferry on Friday and hold all her stuff for a week until she could get into her new place. I agreed, then she let me go so she could go figure out a way to find money for the night.
She didn't ask how I was, or how the baby was, or anything.
She didn't call on Friday.
On Saturday, she called during nap time, and I was in no state to really have a conversation, so she said she'd call back around 3pm.
By 3pm, I was up and was dressed and pretty much ready to go if or when she called.
At 5:15 ish, she called hoping I could get her to the 5:45 ferry. That was a complete impossibility, regardless of the fact that she was calling me during DINNER, and two hours later than she said she would.
I called her back after dinner then set out to get her.
She was staying in a local motel in the bad part of town. Now, I'm not naive to the dirty things that happen in my town, but as a rule, I generally don't deposit myself right in the middle of the nasty parts! And this motel was a hub for shady activity.
I drove up to the front door, where my mother met me and directed me to drive around to the gate access at the back. After parking in the alley, I went through the gate and met up with my mother and her stuff. What she had told me was a couple of bags and boxes, turned out to be much, much more than that, and several trips up and down stairs later, I packed the mini-van right full.
Did I mention that I'm two weeks post-partum at this point, and have several stitches holding my dainty parts together? (Thanks Melora for that term, I love it!) I mentioned this to my mother, who just told me not to take the heavy stuff. While I was doing most of the lifting and carrying, my mother was "just" finishing up some laundry using the outdoor dryer in the courtyard. So, in the end, she took a total of two trips compared to my six to eight.
Then she told me she just had to go and take care of something, so I sat and waited for her in the van. Sat and waited in my locked vehicle while I watched a drug deal go on, and several prostitutes go in and out of various motel rooms. Oh joy.
Then, fifteen minutes later, when she got back to the van, she told me this sob story about how a friend of hers had put a deposit down for the motel for the night in case she had to stay again, and how the manager refused to give it back to her. To which I replied "Well you were HERE all day! No wonder he wanted to keep the money!" And she tried to explain to me how technically she was out of the room and everything, and didn't see how storing her stuff on the balcony all day and using the washer and dryer was any reason for him to want to keep the money. (It was well past 7pm by this point.) She went on to explain that the manager had said he wanted to somehow put the money back on the friend's card instead of handing my mother the cash.
So, in reality,
A) This man is pissed that my mother stayed all day, and he fully intends to keep the money, OR
B) He's a smart man and knows my mom is shady, and intends on giving the money back to the person who gave it to him, instead of to my mom.
Anyway, due to the fact that he didn't give the cash to my mother, she was now short on money and couldn't afford the ferry. (Big surprise!) And assured me that if she hadn't known she wouldn't have been given that money, then she wouldn't have eaten "that bowl of soup."
While driving to the ferry, I asked her if she was going to call her friend and tell her about the mix up. "No, it's alright."
"Well, you should probably tell her what's happening with her money!"
"Oh, I'll just call her from the ferry or something."
Cha.. and a monkeys are gonna fly out of my a$$!
Anyway, I'll skip some of the less important parts of the trip to the ferry, but tell you she did end up asking about the birth and such, and I did sort of rant her out about how I deserved to be treated with more respect and that she should call when she says she's going to, to which she said she was sorry, but then followed that with all sorts of excuses (like a teenager-it was totally like I was talking to a bratty 16 year old!).
Then, we finally get to the ferry, and she asks me to lend her a couple of bucks, and by giving her $3 we were able to make up enough for her to get onto the ferry.
Then standing in the entrance to the ferry terminal...
"Can I have a couple of more dollars for a coffee?"
Me (in a very flat tone): You've got to be kidding.
Ma (giggling): No, I'm not kidding!
Me (starting to walk away): You're kidding right?
Ma: No, hee hee.
Me (out the door, heading back to the van): I'm am going to pretend that you did NOT just ask me for MORE money.
Ma (following me): Ok, well, thank you for helping me out, I'll call you when I get back into town.
Me: Yah, you're welcome.
Then she gives me a hug which I deliberately make overly awkward, and I drive away.
And now, I have a pile of JUNK sitting in Peach's (currently unused) room for the next week or so (I told her it was going to charity if she didn't come back to the Island within two weeks), and I have to wait for her phone call so that I can pack all that crap back into the van and move it and her to a town an hour south of here.
So, Armondo just wants me to move her stuff then cut of ties completely with her. He's feeling all protective and doesn't want me to deal with the stress that just comes along with being in touch with my mother.
I can totally see his point, but she did say she's trying to turn her life around, and I know that's not an instantaneous thing, so I don't want to just give up on her right away. I mean, I'm not letting her take advantage of me (so far, it's been $3, plus some gas and driving, and helping her to move, and we've ALL been guilty of coercing someone to help us move at some point.) And, I'm not going to just let her have unrestricted access to the kids right away without some major steps forward (we're talking at least a year of forward steps before I'd trust them in her care.)
At this point, what I want to have happen is I'd like to have a one-on-one sit down with her at Timmy's or something and force her to explain to me what her personal goals and life intentions are and what she would like to see happen with us, and how she intends to repair past damage she's done to our relationship, and if she gives me some satisfactory answers, then maybe I'll let her meet the kids.
I don't want to use the kids as a punishment or reward, but I just don't feel like she deserves to be a grandmother at this particular point.
So, until next time....
So, after that phone call, my mother basically kept in touch by phoning every day or two. Until Peach was born. The day she was born, my mother called, and I was already in bed, so she told Armondo she'd call back the next day.
She didn't call again for ten days.
The call came this past Wednesday.
Ma: So, I've got a place lined up, and a job lined up, and I'm thinking of going to college.
Me: Oh, that's great! Good for you. You sound sad though, are you ok?
Ma: Well, *sniff* I don't get my (welfare) check until tomorrow and I don't have any money for the rent (at the motel) and they're going to kick me out if I don't pay.
Me: Well, can't welfare provide you with some sort of document stating that you're getting your money tomorrow or something?
Ma: No... I was wondering if I could borrow some money from you just for today....
I told her "no" and explained how, you know, we're living employment insurance cheque to cheque while Armondo's not working, so I don't really have any money to spare. (Not to mention the fact that both my father and grandmother told me "DO NOT LEND HER ANY MONEY" when I told them she was back in touch.)
Then she asked if I could possibly drive her to the ferry on Friday and hold all her stuff for a week until she could get into her new place. I agreed, then she let me go so she could go figure out a way to find money for the night.
She didn't ask how I was, or how the baby was, or anything.
She didn't call on Friday.
On Saturday, she called during nap time, and I was in no state to really have a conversation, so she said she'd call back around 3pm.
By 3pm, I was up and was dressed and pretty much ready to go if or when she called.
At 5:15 ish, she called hoping I could get her to the 5:45 ferry. That was a complete impossibility, regardless of the fact that she was calling me during DINNER, and two hours later than she said she would.
I called her back after dinner then set out to get her.
She was staying in a local motel in the bad part of town. Now, I'm not naive to the dirty things that happen in my town, but as a rule, I generally don't deposit myself right in the middle of the nasty parts! And this motel was a hub for shady activity.
I drove up to the front door, where my mother met me and directed me to drive around to the gate access at the back. After parking in the alley, I went through the gate and met up with my mother and her stuff. What she had told me was a couple of bags and boxes, turned out to be much, much more than that, and several trips up and down stairs later, I packed the mini-van right full.
Did I mention that I'm two weeks post-partum at this point, and have several stitches holding my dainty parts together? (Thanks Melora for that term, I love it!) I mentioned this to my mother, who just told me not to take the heavy stuff. While I was doing most of the lifting and carrying, my mother was "just" finishing up some laundry using the outdoor dryer in the courtyard. So, in the end, she took a total of two trips compared to my six to eight.
Then she told me she just had to go and take care of something, so I sat and waited for her in the van. Sat and waited in my locked vehicle while I watched a drug deal go on, and several prostitutes go in and out of various motel rooms. Oh joy.
Then, fifteen minutes later, when she got back to the van, she told me this sob story about how a friend of hers had put a deposit down for the motel for the night in case she had to stay again, and how the manager refused to give it back to her. To which I replied "Well you were HERE all day! No wonder he wanted to keep the money!" And she tried to explain to me how technically she was out of the room and everything, and didn't see how storing her stuff on the balcony all day and using the washer and dryer was any reason for him to want to keep the money. (It was well past 7pm by this point.) She went on to explain that the manager had said he wanted to somehow put the money back on the friend's card instead of handing my mother the cash.
So, in reality,
A) This man is pissed that my mother stayed all day, and he fully intends to keep the money, OR
B) He's a smart man and knows my mom is shady, and intends on giving the money back to the person who gave it to him, instead of to my mom.
Anyway, due to the fact that he didn't give the cash to my mother, she was now short on money and couldn't afford the ferry. (Big surprise!) And assured me that if she hadn't known she wouldn't have been given that money, then she wouldn't have eaten "that bowl of soup."
While driving to the ferry, I asked her if she was going to call her friend and tell her about the mix up. "No, it's alright."
"Well, you should probably tell her what's happening with her money!"
"Oh, I'll just call her from the ferry or something."
Cha.. and a monkeys are gonna fly out of my a$$!
Anyway, I'll skip some of the less important parts of the trip to the ferry, but tell you she did end up asking about the birth and such, and I did sort of rant her out about how I deserved to be treated with more respect and that she should call when she says she's going to, to which she said she was sorry, but then followed that with all sorts of excuses (like a teenager-it was totally like I was talking to a bratty 16 year old!).
Then, we finally get to the ferry, and she asks me to lend her a couple of bucks, and by giving her $3 we were able to make up enough for her to get onto the ferry.
Then standing in the entrance to the ferry terminal...
"Can I have a couple of more dollars for a coffee?"
Me (in a very flat tone): You've got to be kidding.
Ma (giggling): No, I'm not kidding!
Me (starting to walk away): You're kidding right?
Ma: No, hee hee.
Me (out the door, heading back to the van): I'm am going to pretend that you did NOT just ask me for MORE money.
Ma (following me): Ok, well, thank you for helping me out, I'll call you when I get back into town.
Me: Yah, you're welcome.
Then she gives me a hug which I deliberately make overly awkward, and I drive away.
And now, I have a pile of JUNK sitting in Peach's (currently unused) room for the next week or so (I told her it was going to charity if she didn't come back to the Island within two weeks), and I have to wait for her phone call so that I can pack all that crap back into the van and move it and her to a town an hour south of here.
So, Armondo just wants me to move her stuff then cut of ties completely with her. He's feeling all protective and doesn't want me to deal with the stress that just comes along with being in touch with my mother.
I can totally see his point, but she did say she's trying to turn her life around, and I know that's not an instantaneous thing, so I don't want to just give up on her right away. I mean, I'm not letting her take advantage of me (so far, it's been $3, plus some gas and driving, and helping her to move, and we've ALL been guilty of coercing someone to help us move at some point.) And, I'm not going to just let her have unrestricted access to the kids right away without some major steps forward (we're talking at least a year of forward steps before I'd trust them in her care.)
At this point, what I want to have happen is I'd like to have a one-on-one sit down with her at Timmy's or something and force her to explain to me what her personal goals and life intentions are and what she would like to see happen with us, and how she intends to repair past damage she's done to our relationship, and if she gives me some satisfactory answers, then maybe I'll let her meet the kids.
I don't want to use the kids as a punishment or reward, but I just don't feel like she deserves to be a grandmother at this particular point.
So, until next time....
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Breast Feeding Continued.
Wow, you are all so awesome. Thank you all for your support and the tips on my last breast feeding post. Things are getting better. They're not great or pain free yet, but they things are getting better.
I had to keep Peach off of that one particular nipple for two whole days while it recovered, and I was able to express about 6 ounces a day from that side. Of course, I wasn't making enough milk from the non-bleeding side, so we had to give her more bottles. I really don't think she's got nipple confusion at this point. Maybe she did for a day or something, but I think she's got the latch thing down now. The big problem though is that she's just so darn strong. Like Armondo said, it's like she's giving me h!ckies on my nipples.
It seems like we'll be able to continue to breast feed, and that it won't be too horrible, but it seems as though I'm in for some more pain, at least in the short term. The worst part of knowing each time that it's going to hurt is the whole being tentative thing, and sort of stalling a bit each time I try to get her to latch on. This has caused more than a few cranky outbursts from the little one!
One of those pictures I'm going to get in trouble for posting when she's older!
"What IS that furry thing I see walking by?"
I had to keep Peach off of that one particular nipple for two whole days while it recovered, and I was able to express about 6 ounces a day from that side. Of course, I wasn't making enough milk from the non-bleeding side, so we had to give her more bottles. I really don't think she's got nipple confusion at this point. Maybe she did for a day or something, but I think she's got the latch thing down now. The big problem though is that she's just so darn strong. Like Armondo said, it's like she's giving me h!ckies on my nipples.
It seems like we'll be able to continue to breast feed, and that it won't be too horrible, but it seems as though I'm in for some more pain, at least in the short term. The worst part of knowing each time that it's going to hurt is the whole being tentative thing, and sort of stalling a bit each time I try to get her to latch on. This has caused more than a few cranky outbursts from the little one!
But, breast feeding difficulties aside, holy crap, this baby is easy! And cute! And so strong! She can already hold her head up for several seconds at a time, and if she's sort of propped up with her arms supported, she'll put almost all her weight on her feet and will push to a standing position. (Almost, it's not a perfected thing by any means!)
One of those pictures I'm going to get in trouble for posting when she's older!
"What IS that furry thing I see walking by?"Friday, January 26, 2007
You know Daddy's been in charge when...
She goes to playgroup in the middle of winter wearing a light spring dress.
AND...
Later that day, wakes up from her nap and she's still wearing her BOOTS.
Not that I'm criticizing or anything... I just think it's funny!
AND...
Later that day, wakes up from her nap and she's still wearing her BOOTS.
Not that I'm criticizing or anything... I just think it's funny!
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Breast Feeding-the early days.
I never understood why women would get so upset if breast feeding didn't work out for them and their babies. I've heard many stories of babies who didn't latch properly, women who didn't have enough milk, and babies who couldn't tolerate the proteins in their own mother's milk. To me, it didn't seem like a big deal. I mean, just buck up and buy some formula already, what's the big deal?
I understand now. Peach is a good eater. She's been getting plenty of milk, and had surpassed her birth weight by several ounces in less than a week. She doesn't, however, quite have the latch down yet.
The other day, she ripped one of my nipples to shreds to the point where I stopped nursing her on that side and just expressed and froze the milk so that that nipple would have some time to heal. By the end of the day, it seemed to have healed enough to try again, and we had a successful day and a half using both breasts.
This morning, my midwife came for a scheduled visit and we discussed the latching problems. She observed, and saw that Peach's mouth was wide enough open, and that she seemed to have a good latch overall. I could see this as well, and thought that maybe we had it all worked out. My midwife went on to suggest switching up on different nursing positions in order to change up the spots where the most stress was, as well as showed me some ways to utilize pillows better to keep Peach's latch. When the midwife left, I was feeling confident that from there on in, Peach and I would have this whole nursing thing down pat.
That is, until early this evening when I looked down while she was feeding and watched as the blood pooled around her mouth and my nipple and ran down my belly. She got me good. Real good.
Right away, I took her off the breast and started to thaw out some expressed milk so she could have a bottle. For the past couple of nights, I've been giving Armondo bottles to feed her so they could have some bonding time while I got things done, like shower.
I told my midwife about the bottle a night thing, and of course, she told me what I knew already: feeding a young baby a bottle can cause nipple confusion and can lead to latching problems.
So, after I took her off the breast and handed her to Armondo to hold while I thawed out some milk, I couldn't help but start crying. Here I was, making her a bottle so that she's not ripping my nipples to shreds some more, because she has a bad latch, but in making her drink out of a bottle, I'm making it harder for her to learn how to latch properly. It seemed like a bit of a vicious circle, and at that particular moment, as I took Peach back from Armondo, and started feeding her the bottle, I could not see any way of resolving this issue. Armondo was finishing up giving Cherry a bath at the time, and I sat in the living room feeding Peach with tears running down my face.
I had calmed down significantly by the time Cherry's story time came around and all four of us went into her room to take part. Cherry was drinking her last bottle of the day as Daddy read the story, and I had Peach in my lap and she was drinking her bottle.
Well, Cherry finished her bottle first, and wanted Peach's bottle. She has never shown any interest or want for the breast (she was weened at five months), but when she saw Peach sipping at that bottle, Cherry wanted it. NOW. She started tantruming, so I handed Peach to Armondo, and they made their exit while I tried to calm Cherry down and explain to her how the milk was different, and that she had already finished her bottle anyway. Yeah. She's 18 months. I'm pretty sure the whole concept flew over her head. So she screamed. And screamed. She wouldn't let me hold her, she wouldn't get into her bed, she would not let me help her calm down. So, I turned off the light and left her in her room. Then I went to the couch (Armondo was in our bedroom with Peach), and I sobbed by myself for the next 15 minutes while Cherry pounded on her door and continued to tantrum about the injustice of it all.
So, now, not only was I failing Peach by giving her a bottle, and further ruining any chance of getting this latch thing down right, but I have also upset Cherry, who otherwise had had a pretty tantrum-free day.
I felt like a pretty crummy mother.
See, being a mother is all about nurturing, right? I mean, it's about hugs, and kisses, and love and giggles, and it's also about nourishing. And as a mother with plenty of milk, I should be able to nourish my little one, and that is being threatened, and it scares me.
I can't completely articulate what it feels like, but I'm sure it's sort of akin to a man with impotency problems.
But really, what's the big deal? I mean, just buck up and buy some formula, right? Well, that feels like giving up. It feels like failure.
And part of the whole problem is in my head too. And I think that in itself is making it harder for Peach to latch on. I KNOW it's going to hurt when she gets her grip, which makes me tentative, which makes it harder for her to get a good latch. (I'm having the same problem with another bodily function in that, I KNOW it'll hurt my stitches when I sit down to take care of business, which only makes me dread it, which, in turn, is causing constipation, which in turn, makes the whole business even MORE painful.)
The funny thing is, I don't even like nursing. I don't like the feeling of my breasts filling up, I don't like the heaviness, I don't like the leaking, or the sweatiness that goes along with it. I don't like having to sit down and stop what I'm doing in order to find a comfortable position and location to pull up my shirt and feed my child.
But I like the IDEA of it.
I like the idea of nourishing my child from my own body. I like the forced closeness (Cherry stopped cuddling when she was weened, and really hasn't been much of a cuddler since.). I like that there's no waste involved, in that you don't need bottle liners, you don't need to wash nipples (except in the shower once a day, but you know what I mean), you don't have to heat the milk (not that you really have to with formula if you don't want to, but just stick with me here). And that it's "natural". You're feeding your human child human milk instead of formula derived from a completely different animal.
And, being that I'm a mother, I'm SUPPOSED to be able to feed my child.
And that's what's bothering me the most.
I'm not giving up yet. In fact, I still have one nipple that's still usable for the time being, so I have fed her with that one since the bloody incident, and have expressed a bit from the injured one. But I am thisclose to switching to formula. And that bothers me.
I understand now. Peach is a good eater. She's been getting plenty of milk, and had surpassed her birth weight by several ounces in less than a week. She doesn't, however, quite have the latch down yet.
The other day, she ripped one of my nipples to shreds to the point where I stopped nursing her on that side and just expressed and froze the milk so that that nipple would have some time to heal. By the end of the day, it seemed to have healed enough to try again, and we had a successful day and a half using both breasts.
This morning, my midwife came for a scheduled visit and we discussed the latching problems. She observed, and saw that Peach's mouth was wide enough open, and that she seemed to have a good latch overall. I could see this as well, and thought that maybe we had it all worked out. My midwife went on to suggest switching up on different nursing positions in order to change up the spots where the most stress was, as well as showed me some ways to utilize pillows better to keep Peach's latch. When the midwife left, I was feeling confident that from there on in, Peach and I would have this whole nursing thing down pat.
That is, until early this evening when I looked down while she was feeding and watched as the blood pooled around her mouth and my nipple and ran down my belly. She got me good. Real good.
Right away, I took her off the breast and started to thaw out some expressed milk so she could have a bottle. For the past couple of nights, I've been giving Armondo bottles to feed her so they could have some bonding time while I got things done, like shower.
I told my midwife about the bottle a night thing, and of course, she told me what I knew already: feeding a young baby a bottle can cause nipple confusion and can lead to latching problems.
So, after I took her off the breast and handed her to Armondo to hold while I thawed out some milk, I couldn't help but start crying. Here I was, making her a bottle so that she's not ripping my nipples to shreds some more, because she has a bad latch, but in making her drink out of a bottle, I'm making it harder for her to learn how to latch properly. It seemed like a bit of a vicious circle, and at that particular moment, as I took Peach back from Armondo, and started feeding her the bottle, I could not see any way of resolving this issue. Armondo was finishing up giving Cherry a bath at the time, and I sat in the living room feeding Peach with tears running down my face.
I had calmed down significantly by the time Cherry's story time came around and all four of us went into her room to take part. Cherry was drinking her last bottle of the day as Daddy read the story, and I had Peach in my lap and she was drinking her bottle.
Well, Cherry finished her bottle first, and wanted Peach's bottle. She has never shown any interest or want for the breast (she was weened at five months), but when she saw Peach sipping at that bottle, Cherry wanted it. NOW. She started tantruming, so I handed Peach to Armondo, and they made their exit while I tried to calm Cherry down and explain to her how the milk was different, and that she had already finished her bottle anyway. Yeah. She's 18 months. I'm pretty sure the whole concept flew over her head. So she screamed. And screamed. She wouldn't let me hold her, she wouldn't get into her bed, she would not let me help her calm down. So, I turned off the light and left her in her room. Then I went to the couch (Armondo was in our bedroom with Peach), and I sobbed by myself for the next 15 minutes while Cherry pounded on her door and continued to tantrum about the injustice of it all.
So, now, not only was I failing Peach by giving her a bottle, and further ruining any chance of getting this latch thing down right, but I have also upset Cherry, who otherwise had had a pretty tantrum-free day.
I felt like a pretty crummy mother.
See, being a mother is all about nurturing, right? I mean, it's about hugs, and kisses, and love and giggles, and it's also about nourishing. And as a mother with plenty of milk, I should be able to nourish my little one, and that is being threatened, and it scares me.
I can't completely articulate what it feels like, but I'm sure it's sort of akin to a man with impotency problems.
But really, what's the big deal? I mean, just buck up and buy some formula, right? Well, that feels like giving up. It feels like failure.
And part of the whole problem is in my head too. And I think that in itself is making it harder for Peach to latch on. I KNOW it's going to hurt when she gets her grip, which makes me tentative, which makes it harder for her to get a good latch. (I'm having the same problem with another bodily function in that, I KNOW it'll hurt my stitches when I sit down to take care of business, which only makes me dread it, which, in turn, is causing constipation, which in turn, makes the whole business even MORE painful.)
The funny thing is, I don't even like nursing. I don't like the feeling of my breasts filling up, I don't like the heaviness, I don't like the leaking, or the sweatiness that goes along with it. I don't like having to sit down and stop what I'm doing in order to find a comfortable position and location to pull up my shirt and feed my child.
But I like the IDEA of it.
I like the idea of nourishing my child from my own body. I like the forced closeness (Cherry stopped cuddling when she was weened, and really hasn't been much of a cuddler since.). I like that there's no waste involved, in that you don't need bottle liners, you don't need to wash nipples (except in the shower once a day, but you know what I mean), you don't have to heat the milk (not that you really have to with formula if you don't want to, but just stick with me here). And that it's "natural". You're feeding your human child human milk instead of formula derived from a completely different animal.
And, being that I'm a mother, I'm SUPPOSED to be able to feed my child.
And that's what's bothering me the most.
I'm not giving up yet. In fact, I still have one nipple that's still usable for the time being, so I have fed her with that one since the bloody incident, and have expressed a bit from the injured one. But I am thisclose to switching to formula. And that bothers me.
Deal or No Deal
Tonight, there was this really crazy woman on Deal or No Deal. At the end, she had a case with $400, one with $500, and one with $1000. Then she picked the one with the $1000, and the banker offered her $425. She didn't take it, and in the end, her case had $500 in it.
At which point Armondo says:
"Thanks a lot lady, you just wasted a whole hour of my life!"
At which point Armondo says:
"Thanks a lot lady, you just wasted a whole hour of my life!"
Saturday, January 20, 2007
We have a tie!
Yeah, so,congratulations to Sarah and Maidink who are tied for the baby contest, at 40 points each. Sarah guessed "girl" right and was closest to the right time, and Maidink got the closest to the right weight (missed it by an ounce).
Andrea was next in line with 35 points.
No one got points for more than two questions, and only five people got any points at all. It was a close race!
Now, I just need to come up with a tie-breaking question! Both Sarah and Maidink know me pretty well, so it'll be hard to come up with a good question! I'm open to suggestions! Let's make this interesting!
(And, because Maidink said she just wanted bragging rights, and since Sarah is a native of Canada, I really have NO IDEA what to make the prize! So, once we have a final winner, we'll have to figure out a suitable prize for that particular person!)
Andrea was next in line with 35 points.
No one got points for more than two questions, and only five people got any points at all. It was a close race!
Now, I just need to come up with a tie-breaking question! Both Sarah and Maidink know me pretty well, so it'll be hard to come up with a good question! I'm open to suggestions! Let's make this interesting!
(And, because Maidink said she just wanted bragging rights, and since Sarah is a native of Canada, I really have NO IDEA what to make the prize! So, once we have a final winner, we'll have to figure out a suitable prize for that particular person!)
Ahhh, the joy of TWO.
Know what's really rad? (besides the fact that I just typed "rad")
Is when one kid is crying, and the other kid starts crying JUST BECAUSE the other one is crying.
Yeah, that's what's rad.
Just thought you might like to know that.
Is when one kid is crying, and the other kid starts crying JUST BECAUSE the other one is crying.
Yeah, that's what's rad.
Just thought you might like to know that.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Size.
We went out today.
My feet fit in my shoes! They were snug, but they fit!
My ring, however still does not fit, so it still hangs on my necklace.
My b00bs? The size of cantaloupes. That's why we had to go out today. To buy bras. To hold up my boulders. My shirts look really funny. I'm more than a little disproportionate.
My belly is still quite large. I'd say I look about four months pregnant. It's gone down though quite a lot since I gave birth. I left the hospital looking about five months pregnant.
All newborns lose weight after they're born. Peach was no exception. I can't remember off hand how much she lost, but it wasn't too much, and in the last two days, she's re-gained SEVEN OUNCES. They're supposed to gain 4-8 ounces per WEEK. Yeah, I've got milk. And she's quite the little eater. And my n!pples really hurt.
Cherry was an absolute doll today! It was a welcome change. Hopefully she'll be happy again tomorrow. It was nice to have her "old" self back, even if it was only for a day.
And, of course, since you're all really here just to see cute pictures, here you are:
My feet fit in my shoes! They were snug, but they fit!
My ring, however still does not fit, so it still hangs on my necklace.
My b00bs? The size of cantaloupes. That's why we had to go out today. To buy bras. To hold up my boulders. My shirts look really funny. I'm more than a little disproportionate.
My belly is still quite large. I'd say I look about four months pregnant. It's gone down though quite a lot since I gave birth. I left the hospital looking about five months pregnant.
All newborns lose weight after they're born. Peach was no exception. I can't remember off hand how much she lost, but it wasn't too much, and in the last two days, she's re-gained SEVEN OUNCES. They're supposed to gain 4-8 ounces per WEEK. Yeah, I've got milk. And she's quite the little eater. And my n!pples really hurt.
Cherry was an absolute doll today! It was a welcome change. Hopefully she'll be happy again tomorrow. It was nice to have her "old" self back, even if it was only for a day.
And, of course, since you're all really here just to see cute pictures, here you are:
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Keeping you up to date.
Peach and I are doing surprisingly well. I'm sore and tired, but have been feeling better these past couple of days than I had been feeling for months!
Peach is an awesome eater, and my milk is in real good. I've been stuffing cabbage in my bra to help with the pain, which Armondo finds more than a little amusing. He's a big fan of "b00b salad".
I haven't been getting a lot of sleep, which is expected, but Armondo is so awesome with helping out as much as he can, that there's barely any burden on me.
Cherry, however, isn't doing so well. She seems to be experiencing some sort of night terror on and off. It's seems to have happened about five times in the last month, and it's quite upsetting. She wakes up in the middle of the night screaming, and it takes about from an hour to three hours to console her. She had another episode last night. I mentioned it to my midwife today, who mentioned one possible medical reason, so we'll be exploring that, as well as doing some research on toddler night terrors.
Cherry's very interested in the "de de". She loves to come over and look at her and poke at her, but she's extremely rough. I don't think she's TRYING to be mean when she's interacting, but she'll poke Peach, push her around, and today even smacked her in the face. It's not like she's got a mean look on her face, or that she's making any motion that she's trying to hurt her, it's just that she just doesn't know how to be gentle. Sort of makes me wonder if I should have waited a bit longer to have a second child. Cherry's also acting up quite a bit these days. It started before the baby was born, but has sort of escalated these past couple of days. She's quite whiney, and very clingy. She's demanding more attention from us than usual, and if she doesn't get it, she'll throw a tantrum. I've been trying my best to make sure we have some special time together while Peach isn't feeding, but it can be hard, 'cause newborns are literally quite attached to their mothers. Cherry IS, however getting lots of attention from Daddy, which is good, but makes me worry that she might distance herself further away from myself.
Back to Peach. She's so much easier so far than Cherry was. She rarely cries, and when she does, it's either 'cause she needs something, or Cherry has smacked her in the face. She sleeps often, though not for long stretches, and when she's awake, you can just leave her in her bassinette and she'll just quietly look around and coo if someone isn't there right away to pick her up. Cherry screamed for the first two and a half months straight. I know that part of the difference is due to the fact that they are different individuals, but I'd also like to think that with more experience, and more spousal support, that I'm doing a better job this time. (When Cherry was born, Armondo was working 6 days a week, often upwards to 11 hours a day.)
Anyway, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. I'll be calculating the contest entries soon enough, as well as writing out the official Peach "birth story" which will be the next part in my "Love Series". (The love series can be found on the sidebar.) I also have to do some template changes, including updating my "belly" shot on the side, and changing my title graphic to something a little more current.
But to tie you over, here are some more pictures:
When we got home from the hospital, we pulled out Cherry's "big sister" gift.
I think she likes it!
The following pictures were taken today, at 3 days old:
And here's a picture of Peach, looking suspiciously very much like her daddy.
What is it with newborns always having "red eye" in photos? (This one isn't TOO bad, but it was the best out of a series that I took.)
Exhausted after a good feeding.
Peach is an awesome eater, and my milk is in real good. I've been stuffing cabbage in my bra to help with the pain, which Armondo finds more than a little amusing. He's a big fan of "b00b salad".
I haven't been getting a lot of sleep, which is expected, but Armondo is so awesome with helping out as much as he can, that there's barely any burden on me.
Cherry, however, isn't doing so well. She seems to be experiencing some sort of night terror on and off. It's seems to have happened about five times in the last month, and it's quite upsetting. She wakes up in the middle of the night screaming, and it takes about from an hour to three hours to console her. She had another episode last night. I mentioned it to my midwife today, who mentioned one possible medical reason, so we'll be exploring that, as well as doing some research on toddler night terrors.
Cherry's very interested in the "de de". She loves to come over and look at her and poke at her, but she's extremely rough. I don't think she's TRYING to be mean when she's interacting, but she'll poke Peach, push her around, and today even smacked her in the face. It's not like she's got a mean look on her face, or that she's making any motion that she's trying to hurt her, it's just that she just doesn't know how to be gentle. Sort of makes me wonder if I should have waited a bit longer to have a second child. Cherry's also acting up quite a bit these days. It started before the baby was born, but has sort of escalated these past couple of days. She's quite whiney, and very clingy. She's demanding more attention from us than usual, and if she doesn't get it, she'll throw a tantrum. I've been trying my best to make sure we have some special time together while Peach isn't feeding, but it can be hard, 'cause newborns are literally quite attached to their mothers. Cherry IS, however getting lots of attention from Daddy, which is good, but makes me worry that she might distance herself further away from myself.
Back to Peach. She's so much easier so far than Cherry was. She rarely cries, and when she does, it's either 'cause she needs something, or Cherry has smacked her in the face. She sleeps often, though not for long stretches, and when she's awake, you can just leave her in her bassinette and she'll just quietly look around and coo if someone isn't there right away to pick her up. Cherry screamed for the first two and a half months straight. I know that part of the difference is due to the fact that they are different individuals, but I'd also like to think that with more experience, and more spousal support, that I'm doing a better job this time. (When Cherry was born, Armondo was working 6 days a week, often upwards to 11 hours a day.)
Anyway, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. I'll be calculating the contest entries soon enough, as well as writing out the official Peach "birth story" which will be the next part in my "Love Series". (The love series can be found on the sidebar.) I also have to do some template changes, including updating my "belly" shot on the side, and changing my title graphic to something a little more current.
But to tie you over, here are some more pictures:
When we got home from the hospital, we pulled out Cherry's "big sister" gift.
I think she likes it!The following pictures were taken today, at 3 days old:
And here's a picture of Peach, looking suspiciously very much like her daddy.
What is it with newborns always having "red eye" in photos? (This one isn't TOO bad, but it was the best out of a series that I took.)
Exhausted after a good feeding.Thanks to everyone for your kind comments and for all the de-lurking that's been going on. I really appreciate it! Oh! Babe's awake, bye for now!
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Welcome to Little Miss Peach!
The Details:
Water broke 2 am after about 2 hours of hard labour, baby born 4:35 am. NINE minutes of pushing.
8lbs, 2-1/2 oz. 21 inches long.
We're home, we're doing good. She's a good little eater. I have lots of broken blood vessels all over my face from pushing hard.
I cursed three times.
Time to relax! Thanks to all of you who have been so supportive during my pregnancy!
More to come later, of course!
Water broke 2 am after about 2 hours of hard labour, baby born 4:35 am. NINE minutes of pushing.
8lbs, 2-1/2 oz. 21 inches long.
We're home, we're doing good. She's a good little eater. I have lots of broken blood vessels all over my face from pushing hard.
I cursed three times.
Time to relax! Thanks to all of you who have been so supportive during my pregnancy!
More to come later, of course!
Minutes old.
The big introduction.
A kiss from big sis!
Sleeping soundly.Saturday, January 13, 2007
Is Something Happening?
So, I'm getting some good contractions. They're about 5 min apart, and lasting about 35-40 seconds. My midwife told me to get some sleep and to call when I'm really "working" with the contractions. So, if I don't update by 10am Pacific Standard Time, then, you can assume I'm in the hospital.
Here's hoping I didn't just jinx the whole thing!
Here's hoping I didn't just jinx the whole thing!
Dear Peach*
Hello there. I just want to start this letter off by directing your attention to that little counter in the top left hand corner there. That's right. It says I've had you in my belly for approximately 40 weeks and five days. That's a long time, you know? And I'm getting pretty anxious.
I can understand that it's nice and warm and snuggly inside, but there are a lot of people out here who would like to meet and see and cuddle you. Maybe you're just smart and know that it's freekin' freezing outside and that the ground is covered in snow. Not even born yet, and you're already showing signs of good common sense; you and I are sure to get along.
I am trying to be very patient while I wait for your arrival, but it's very difficult. You push on my bladder, you kick me in the ribs, you cause me to have heartburn, and make it very difficult to function on a very basic level. I'd love to house you for as long as you are comfortable, but you're not being overly gentle with your poor mamma.
Your Daddy isn't feeling very patient anymore either. I keep on getting contractions, and when I mention them to him, he sort of rolls his eyes and claims I'm "crying wolf". Daddy has been really awesome lately by taking care of pretty much all of the house hold and child care duties, and he hasn't complained much about it, but I KNOW he's ready to be able to snuggle his new little girl, and be able to take a rest from the house work after I've had a chance to recover.
Your big sister only sort of knows what's going on, but I'm sure she's ready to meet you as well. She knows there's a "De-de" in my belly, and she loves to run up to other babies and tries to hug them. I'm sure she'll love you to bits. For her sake, I hope you come soon, because Daddy and I purchased a special "big sister" present for her, and we've been dying to give it to her. (We bought it before Christmas, thinking you'd be on your way soon, and we put all 5000 pieces of it together the Saturday before Christmas in order to get it all ready for your not-so-impending arrival. It took two hours. But I'm not complaining.)
I can't wait to hold you in my arms and to gaze into your eyes. I can't wait to smell your downy head and tickle your newborn toes. I can't wait to study your personality and learn your little nuances. I can't wait to take hundreds of photos of both you and you with your sister. I'm looking forward to introducing you to all the special people in our lives including some of our family and several friends.
It's time for you to make your arrival, the world is waiting for you babe!
~Your loving Momma.
*I've decided on just "Peach" instead of "Peaches", 'cause um, there's just one kid coming out, and not two, so having a plural name is sort of weird. That, and it's confusing figuring out where the apostrophe is supposed to go when writing out possessive sentences.
I can understand that it's nice and warm and snuggly inside, but there are a lot of people out here who would like to meet and see and cuddle you. Maybe you're just smart and know that it's freekin' freezing outside and that the ground is covered in snow. Not even born yet, and you're already showing signs of good common sense; you and I are sure to get along.
I am trying to be very patient while I wait for your arrival, but it's very difficult. You push on my bladder, you kick me in the ribs, you cause me to have heartburn, and make it very difficult to function on a very basic level. I'd love to house you for as long as you are comfortable, but you're not being overly gentle with your poor mamma.
Your Daddy isn't feeling very patient anymore either. I keep on getting contractions, and when I mention them to him, he sort of rolls his eyes and claims I'm "crying wolf". Daddy has been really awesome lately by taking care of pretty much all of the house hold and child care duties, and he hasn't complained much about it, but I KNOW he's ready to be able to snuggle his new little girl, and be able to take a rest from the house work after I've had a chance to recover.
Your big sister only sort of knows what's going on, but I'm sure she's ready to meet you as well. She knows there's a "De-de" in my belly, and she loves to run up to other babies and tries to hug them. I'm sure she'll love you to bits. For her sake, I hope you come soon, because Daddy and I purchased a special "big sister" present for her, and we've been dying to give it to her. (We bought it before Christmas, thinking you'd be on your way soon, and we put all 5000 pieces of it together the Saturday before Christmas in order to get it all ready for your not-so-impending arrival. It took two hours. But I'm not complaining.)
I can't wait to hold you in my arms and to gaze into your eyes. I can't wait to smell your downy head and tickle your newborn toes. I can't wait to study your personality and learn your little nuances. I can't wait to take hundreds of photos of both you and you with your sister. I'm looking forward to introducing you to all the special people in our lives including some of our family and several friends.
It's time for you to make your arrival, the world is waiting for you babe!
~Your loving Momma.
*I've decided on just "Peach" instead of "Peaches", 'cause um, there's just one kid coming out, and not two, so having a plural name is sort of weird. That, and it's confusing figuring out where the apostrophe is supposed to go when writing out possessive sentences.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Birthday Wishes.
No, not for a baby..
FOR ANDREA!
It's her 27th birthday today, and she's pretty cool. She's an artist from the Lower Mainland of BC, and she has some amazing talent. Go check out her blog and give her some well wishes!
FOR ANDREA!
It's her 27th birthday today, and she's pretty cool. She's an artist from the Lower Mainland of BC, and she has some amazing talent. Go check out her blog and give her some well wishes!
Thursday, January 11, 2007
SIL baby news
My SIL got induced at 1pm today, and had her daughter at 4:01. The two of them are doing fine, and are trying to get some rest at the hospital. The baby was 8lbs, 13oz and was dry and shrivelling due to being 10 days overdue.
I can't wait to see pictures! I now have 4 1/2 hours to have my baby on the same day as hers! (I'm having contractions again)
Oh, and I'm less swollen! I can actually hold a pen right now, and I'm FINALLY writing out my Christmas Thank You cards that I've been putting off 'cause my fingers just could not wrap around that pen!
I can't wait to see pictures! I now have 4 1/2 hours to have my baby on the same day as hers! (I'm having contractions again)
Oh, and I'm less swollen! I can actually hold a pen right now, and I'm FINALLY writing out my Christmas Thank You cards that I've been putting off 'cause my fingers just could not wrap around that pen!
BABY NEWS!! (NOT)
Yeah, this is sort of like the opposite of baby news.
My SIL got induced today, so I might have baby news about HER baby later today, but nothing from us, I'm sure.
This seriously has got my panties in a knot. I'm probably the most miserable person you've ever met today. Good thing there are all these wires and miles between us all, 'cause I'm sure if you were hanging out with my sad sack sorry ass, you'd probably kick me in the teeth.
I FREAKING CRIED TODAY FOR ABSOLUTLY NO REASON, WHILE EATING A HOT DOG. At which point, Armondo says "Yeah, I get really emotional while eating hot dogs sometimes too."
Oh, in case anyone is keeping track, there are two people who guessed today as the birth date, and two who guessed tomorrow. No one guessed any later than tomorrow, so maybe I'm in luck.
Ok, I have to go now, I'm crying again, and can barely see the screen.
My SIL got induced today, so I might have baby news about HER baby later today, but nothing from us, I'm sure.
This seriously has got my panties in a knot. I'm probably the most miserable person you've ever met today. Good thing there are all these wires and miles between us all, 'cause I'm sure if you were hanging out with my sad sack sorry ass, you'd probably kick me in the teeth.
I FREAKING CRIED TODAY FOR ABSOLUTLY NO REASON, WHILE EATING A HOT DOG. At which point, Armondo says "Yeah, I get really emotional while eating hot dogs sometimes too."
Oh, in case anyone is keeping track, there are two people who guessed today as the birth date, and two who guessed tomorrow. No one guessed any later than tomorrow, so maybe I'm in luck.
Ok, I have to go now, I'm crying again, and can barely see the screen.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Oh, right, I already HAVE a kid! Seems like I had forgotten!
I've been pretty self absorbed lately. Or baby absorbed. You know, I haven't taken a single picture of Cherry since ... Boxing day? I've barely mentioned her here except to talk about her crankiness. She's a GREAT kid, and I love her lots. And, I know you all do too, so, here, for your enjoyment, is a picture I took a few minutes ago of her playing in the snow with her Daddy.
*CRASH* What was that?
Oh, that, that was the sound of reality coming back! Cherry and Armondo just came inside for lunch, and Cherry threw a FIT.
"Snow!! SNOOOOOWWW!" Whine cry, whine, kick, "NOOO, SNOW!!"
She just threw a HUGE fit 'cause it was time to come inside! She'll be able to go out again after nap time, but holy crap, try to explain that to an 18 month old! Yup, we're going on 15 minutes of whining and crying now... Fun times!
*CRASH* What was that?
Oh, that, that was the sound of reality coming back! Cherry and Armondo just came inside for lunch, and Cherry threw a FIT.
"Snow!! SNOOOOOWWW!" Whine cry, whine, kick, "NOOO, SNOW!!"
She just threw a HUGE fit 'cause it was time to come inside! She'll be able to go out again after nap time, but holy crap, try to explain that to an 18 month old! Yup, we're going on 15 minutes of whining and crying now... Fun times!
It's not fair!
I was in labour for over 16 hours yesterday. Then it stopped.
It's not fair!
In fact, the labour stopped right around the same time as the snow stopped. It's snowing again now. Maybe that's a good thing.
To answer some questions:
Giving birth in the hospital.
I watched "The Pursuit of Happyness" the other night.
My midwife is coming over today for a home visit.
I can still fit Armonodo's shoes, thank goodness.
Cherry was a week overdue.
Ryann, you could probably come for dinner tonight if you want. You should have come yesterday. Use your phone!
See you all later!
It's not fair!
In fact, the labour stopped right around the same time as the snow stopped. It's snowing again now. Maybe that's a good thing.
To answer some questions:
Giving birth in the hospital.
I watched "The Pursuit of Happyness" the other night.
My midwife is coming over today for a home visit.
I can still fit Armonodo's shoes, thank goodness.
Cherry was a week overdue.
Ryann, you could probably come for dinner tonight if you want. You should have come yesterday. Use your phone!
See you all later!
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Baby Watch, 2007 continues *updated.
*update. It's freaking snowing. Like MAJORLY snowing. The baby HAS To come now!
It's 7pm, and my grumpy little Cherry has just hit the sack. She has been so grumpy the past couple of days. We totally can't figure out what's going on with her, and it's upsetting. Maybe she knows that her "only child" status is on the brink of change, and that's upsetting her, who knows?
Anyway, nothing is really progressing yet. The contractions are coming on a little stronger and a little faster, but it's still pretty minor labour. I'm pretty sure there's no turning back at this point. The baby is on her way, it's just a question of how long I'm going to have to put up with this crap. I'm not really in pain, which is nice, but it's uncomfortable. I actually had a little more energy today than usual. Well, maybe not "energy", but more of an uplifted mood anyway. Having something actually "happen" is lifting my spirits. Or maybe it's just the endorphins!
I got about 2 hours of sleep last night due to cranky child, combined with the start of labour, but I WAS able to get in a nice, long nap today, which made up for it.
Oh, and Armondo hit his thumb with a hammer this afternoon, and he's being such a whiney baby about it. It looks like it hurts a LOT, and I believe that it does, but in his own words: "I'm sorry, but I'm feeling really sucky about this! I know it's bad timing, but it's really taking a lot out of me!" And he is now resting in the bedroom with the TV on. Poor guy, hee hee. (is it bad to sort of be glad he's uncomfortable too?)
Oh yeah, it's DELURKING week right now. So, leave a comment! I'm sort of busy and not answering them all right now (you know, this whole having a baby thing sort of takes up some time) but leave a comment anyway! I'll love you for it!
It's 7pm, and my grumpy little Cherry has just hit the sack. She has been so grumpy the past couple of days. We totally can't figure out what's going on with her, and it's upsetting. Maybe she knows that her "only child" status is on the brink of change, and that's upsetting her, who knows?
Anyway, nothing is really progressing yet. The contractions are coming on a little stronger and a little faster, but it's still pretty minor labour. I'm pretty sure there's no turning back at this point. The baby is on her way, it's just a question of how long I'm going to have to put up with this crap. I'm not really in pain, which is nice, but it's uncomfortable. I actually had a little more energy today than usual. Well, maybe not "energy", but more of an uplifted mood anyway. Having something actually "happen" is lifting my spirits. Or maybe it's just the endorphins!
I got about 2 hours of sleep last night due to cranky child, combined with the start of labour, but I WAS able to get in a nice, long nap today, which made up for it.
Oh, and Armondo hit his thumb with a hammer this afternoon, and he's being such a whiney baby about it. It looks like it hurts a LOT, and I believe that it does, but in his own words: "I'm sorry, but I'm feeling really sucky about this! I know it's bad timing, but it's really taking a lot out of me!" And he is now resting in the bedroom with the TV on. Poor guy, hee hee. (is it bad to sort of be glad he's uncomfortable too?)
Oh yeah, it's DELURKING week right now. So, leave a comment! I'm sort of busy and not answering them all right now (you know, this whole having a baby thing sort of takes up some time) but leave a comment anyway! I'll love you for it!
Soft Labour.
I've been having "soft" labour since about 5 am. Nothing's progressing really. Just simple little contractions every 8-20 minutes.
I've been meaning to let you all know all day, but of course, today, being an important day, blogger is acting all strange. They are trying to force me to switch to the new version! It's not that I'm scared of change, it's just that I'm scared I'll lose everything. I have not backed up a single entry on here, and as you all know, my WHOLE LIFE is here. I don't want to lose all this stuff, 'cause lazy me hasn't written all the important stuff in Cherry's baby book, and I haven't backed up photos on my computer in MONTHS, so, this blog is sort of like my back up!
Ooh, only 6 minutes between those last two contractions!
Send baby delivery thoughts my way, ok? It's supposed to snow here today, and we've got a nasty wind storm going on, so it's the perfect sort of weather for a baby to make her appearance!
I've been meaning to let you all know all day, but of course, today, being an important day, blogger is acting all strange. They are trying to force me to switch to the new version! It's not that I'm scared of change, it's just that I'm scared I'll lose everything. I have not backed up a single entry on here, and as you all know, my WHOLE LIFE is here. I don't want to lose all this stuff, 'cause lazy me hasn't written all the important stuff in Cherry's baby book, and I haven't backed up photos on my computer in MONTHS, so, this blog is sort of like my back up!
Ooh, only 6 minutes between those last two contractions!
Send baby delivery thoughts my way, ok? It's supposed to snow here today, and we've got a nasty wind storm going on, so it's the perfect sort of weather for a baby to make her appearance!
Monday, January 08, 2007
Week Forty.
I am in my fortieth week of pregnancy now. I have resolved that this pregnancy will NEVER end. It's ok though. Now that I've figured out that I'm going to be this way forever, it has taken a lot of stress away.
These last couple of weeks have brought on a lot of new stretch marks. I'm not so sure that I'm liking them as much as I used to. They look angry and very red, and they sort of bother me. Luckily, Armondo says he likes them. He says they feel neat, and he likes the look of them. Hopefully he's not lying, but I guess, even if he is, he's still sweet for saying it.
I've figured that part of the reason why the little one hasn't come out is 'cause she knows she's in trouble for teasing me almost a month ago with a night of contractions. I think she knows that as soon as she comes out, she's headed to the naughty corner!
But today would be a good day for her to appear. It's Elvis' Birthday! And, for the first time in weeks, I'm leaving the house tonight to do something FUN! I'm going to a movie! I get to go out and hang out in a dark room where no one will notice my football feet!
These last couple of weeks have brought on a lot of new stretch marks. I'm not so sure that I'm liking them as much as I used to. They look angry and very red, and they sort of bother me. Luckily, Armondo says he likes them. He says they feel neat, and he likes the look of them. Hopefully he's not lying, but I guess, even if he is, he's still sweet for saying it.
I've figured that part of the reason why the little one hasn't come out is 'cause she knows she's in trouble for teasing me almost a month ago with a night of contractions. I think she knows that as soon as she comes out, she's headed to the naughty corner!
But today would be a good day for her to appear. It's Elvis' Birthday! And, for the first time in weeks, I'm leaving the house tonight to do something FUN! I'm going to a movie! I get to go out and hang out in a dark room where no one will notice my football feet!
Sunday, January 07, 2007
A Tale of Two Parents. *updated with another piece of conversation.
Parent number one: Armondo's father.
The Background: Click here.
Recently: We haven't been able to get a hold of my FIL for quite some time. We've phoned and left messages on his answering system with no return calls, (including one message asking him to join us for Christmas dinner) and our Christmas card was sent back to us. Armondo's oldest sister was also having troubles getting a hold of him, and between Armondo and her, (with help of a suggestion from a friend of mine) they decided to call the police in his area to see if they could find out if he was alive or dead in his apartment. In the meantime, we figured out that we had sent the Christmas card to the wrong apartment number.
Now: I have no idea if the police ever connected with FIL or not, but the other day he phoned. Apparently he's been holed up in his apartment feeling sorry for himself and not answering his phone because he felt guilty that so much time had gone by since his last call or visit. He told Armondo he would come to visit the next day (yesterday.) They didn't make solid plans as to exactly when he would show up, (there's a ferry involved for him to get over here), but Armondo was pretty sure he'd come over at some point during the day. I even showered and changed out of my Pj's and everything!
By mid afternoon, he hadn't shown up or called, so I got Armondo to call him. He actually answered his phone (a good sign) and then basically said he wasn't going to come over that day, but he would some time soon.
Later last night, he called again. I picked up the phone. The call went a little something like this: (yes, I know it doesn't make any sense, just roll with it.)
Me: Hello?
FIL: Uh? Is this (the drug store)?
Me: No, this is C. Is this FIL?
FIL: Huh, YEAH, it is! Hey sweety pie, how are ya?
Me: Good thanks, how are you?
FIL: Good, hey, I just got back from (the drug store), and the package I bought is totally empty, and I was just trying to phone them. Do you think they would believe me?
Me: Sure, things like that happen all the time. Just call them, keep the receipt and go back quickly. I'm sure they'd replace the item.... So? Are you coming over?
FIL: Hey, you know when you called me a flake? Well I think you're right, I AM a flake.
Me: Umm.. I don't remember calling you a flake.
FIL: Well, (Oldest SIL) told me you called me a flake and I think you're right.
Me: Umm... ok.. (avoiding the issue) So, are you coming over?
FIL: No.
Me: Why?
FIL: 'Cause you don't like me.
Me: What? Who says I don't like you?
FIL: You! You called me a flake, and you don't like me.
Me: First of all, I said you were "flaky" and I have NEVER said that I didn't like you. You're a fun guy to be around! (it's true, even if he IS crazy)
A bunch of other crazy stuff is said, then...
FIL: Well, you say you like me, but how come you don't LOVE me?
Me: Well, I don't really know you. I love you 'cause you're my husband's father, and my child's grandfather, but I don't really know you very well.
FIL: Well, how come you don't hug or kiss me?
ME: I hug you all the time! When you're around, anyway.
FIL: But you don't kiss me!
Me: I don't kiss anyone!
FIL: Well, I think I deserve a kiss on the cheek or something!
*Update: (I forgot about this part when I was writing this before)
FIL: I know why you hate me! You think I want your mom! (they met at our wedding)
Me: I don't care about THAT! And I don't think you like her, I KNOW she likes you!
FIL: No, you think I like your mom, and you hate me because of it!
And the conversation continued on is such a way. "You don't love me" and "you don't like me" were repeated several times, and on my end I said on several occasions: "Are you trying to start a fight with me or something?" By the end of the conversation, I was under the impression that he was going to come over soon. Possibly that night, maybe the next day (today). In relating the conversation to Armondo, I started to think about how insane it would be if MY father had had the same conversation with ARMONDO! Talk about crazy making!
By part way through the day today, he hadn't shown, so Armondo called him, and he answered his phone (again, a good sign.) and he decided he wouldn't come over 'cause he currently didn't have the money to spoil us while he was here, and there was some sort of pride issue surrounding that.
And that's where we're at with that. Armondo's conclusion to the whole thing? FIL has been drunk for several months holed up in his apartment. He hasn't been working for quite awhile, and his very lucrative job is in jeopardy because he hasn't been paying his union dues. (If you don't work, you don't pay the dues, and the dues are due in a month.) FIL is an alcoholic, and needs some recovery and rehab. Armondo's goal right now is to stay in touch with his father and try to convince him to contact his union rep and tell him what's going on and get him into rehab, which the union would pay for. (It's assumed that the union would also give him some extra time to pay those dues if he's taking an active role in recovery.) FIL has everything around him to help him get better, he just has to take initiative.
Parent number two: My mother.
The Background: Click here.
Recently: Click here. (and read part 4)
Now: My mother called here tonight. This is the first time since Christmas day that she's called, and it was two years before that that I talked to her.
Turns out she lives in my town now. She might be getting an apartment as soon as tomorrow, but she's been staying with friends so far since she's been here.
She says she wants to turn her life around.
Some interesting highlights from the conversation:
Ma: So, what's my grandchild's name? (yeah, that's right, my kid is 18 months old, and she doesn't even know that she's a girl, let alone know her name)
Ma: So, how are you doing?
Me: Um, ok, I'm due to have a baby tomorrow. The due date is tomorrow.
Ma: Really? No way!
Ma: So, maybe you'll have the baby today, do you know what today is?
Me: Sunday?.....
Me: oh wait, is it your birthday today?
Ma: Yeah!
Me: Happy Birthday.
Ma: Thanks!
Me: Yeah, I don't think the babe's coming today.
Ma: So, I'd like to know when you go into labour.
Me: *silence*
Ma: So, I guess I'll just keep on calling and then when you're in labour, I'll meet you in the hospital.
Me: *silence*
Me: Well, actually, I only want Armondo to be there when I have the baby. I don't have any friends coming or anything.
Ma: Oh, well who's watching (Cherry) when you're in the hospital?
Me: A friend. A GOOD friend. Yeah, she's great. She watches her often. It's ALL taken care of.
Ma: So, when do you want to see me?
Me: Well... *long pause* Ok, you say you want to change your life around, and I'd love to be around and help you through that and everything, but the truth of the matter is, it's been two years since we last talked, and that combined with what you did to your mother.... You know, there's a lot of hurt there. So I think we should just take it slow, and we can talk on the phone here and there for awhile before we jump into anything, you know?
Ma: Ok.
Me: 'Cause, you know, I'd really like you to be a part of our lives, but there's a lot of hurt to deal with.
Ma: Ok, I'd like to be apart of your lives too.
And with that, we ended the conversation with her basically promising to keep in touch.
Whew. Wow. I. AM. STUNNED. Too. Much. Stimulation.
The Background: Click here.
Recently: We haven't been able to get a hold of my FIL for quite some time. We've phoned and left messages on his answering system with no return calls, (including one message asking him to join us for Christmas dinner) and our Christmas card was sent back to us. Armondo's oldest sister was also having troubles getting a hold of him, and between Armondo and her, (with help of a suggestion from a friend of mine) they decided to call the police in his area to see if they could find out if he was alive or dead in his apartment. In the meantime, we figured out that we had sent the Christmas card to the wrong apartment number.
Now: I have no idea if the police ever connected with FIL or not, but the other day he phoned. Apparently he's been holed up in his apartment feeling sorry for himself and not answering his phone because he felt guilty that so much time had gone by since his last call or visit. He told Armondo he would come to visit the next day (yesterday.) They didn't make solid plans as to exactly when he would show up, (there's a ferry involved for him to get over here), but Armondo was pretty sure he'd come over at some point during the day. I even showered and changed out of my Pj's and everything!
By mid afternoon, he hadn't shown up or called, so I got Armondo to call him. He actually answered his phone (a good sign) and then basically said he wasn't going to come over that day, but he would some time soon.
Later last night, he called again. I picked up the phone. The call went a little something like this: (yes, I know it doesn't make any sense, just roll with it.)
Me: Hello?
FIL: Uh? Is this (the drug store)?
Me: No, this is C. Is this FIL?
FIL: Huh, YEAH, it is! Hey sweety pie, how are ya?
Me: Good thanks, how are you?
FIL: Good, hey, I just got back from (the drug store), and the package I bought is totally empty, and I was just trying to phone them. Do you think they would believe me?
Me: Sure, things like that happen all the time. Just call them, keep the receipt and go back quickly. I'm sure they'd replace the item.... So? Are you coming over?
FIL: Hey, you know when you called me a flake? Well I think you're right, I AM a flake.
Me: Umm.. I don't remember calling you a flake.
FIL: Well, (Oldest SIL) told me you called me a flake and I think you're right.
Me: Umm... ok.. (avoiding the issue) So, are you coming over?
FIL: No.
Me: Why?
FIL: 'Cause you don't like me.
Me: What? Who says I don't like you?
FIL: You! You called me a flake, and you don't like me.
Me: First of all, I said you were "flaky" and I have NEVER said that I didn't like you. You're a fun guy to be around! (it's true, even if he IS crazy)
A bunch of other crazy stuff is said, then...
FIL: Well, you say you like me, but how come you don't LOVE me?
Me: Well, I don't really know you. I love you 'cause you're my husband's father, and my child's grandfather, but I don't really know you very well.
FIL: Well, how come you don't hug or kiss me?
ME: I hug you all the time! When you're around, anyway.
FIL: But you don't kiss me!
Me: I don't kiss anyone!
FIL: Well, I think I deserve a kiss on the cheek or something!
*Update: (I forgot about this part when I was writing this before)
FIL: I know why you hate me! You think I want your mom! (they met at our wedding)
Me: I don't care about THAT! And I don't think you like her, I KNOW she likes you!
FIL: No, you think I like your mom, and you hate me because of it!
And the conversation continued on is such a way. "You don't love me" and "you don't like me" were repeated several times, and on my end I said on several occasions: "Are you trying to start a fight with me or something?" By the end of the conversation, I was under the impression that he was going to come over soon. Possibly that night, maybe the next day (today). In relating the conversation to Armondo, I started to think about how insane it would be if MY father had had the same conversation with ARMONDO! Talk about crazy making!
By part way through the day today, he hadn't shown, so Armondo called him, and he answered his phone (again, a good sign.) and he decided he wouldn't come over 'cause he currently didn't have the money to spoil us while he was here, and there was some sort of pride issue surrounding that.
And that's where we're at with that. Armondo's conclusion to the whole thing? FIL has been drunk for several months holed up in his apartment. He hasn't been working for quite awhile, and his very lucrative job is in jeopardy because he hasn't been paying his union dues. (If you don't work, you don't pay the dues, and the dues are due in a month.) FIL is an alcoholic, and needs some recovery and rehab. Armondo's goal right now is to stay in touch with his father and try to convince him to contact his union rep and tell him what's going on and get him into rehab, which the union would pay for. (It's assumed that the union would also give him some extra time to pay those dues if he's taking an active role in recovery.) FIL has everything around him to help him get better, he just has to take initiative.
Parent number two: My mother.
The Background: Click here.
Recently: Click here. (and read part 4)
Now: My mother called here tonight. This is the first time since Christmas day that she's called, and it was two years before that that I talked to her.
Turns out she lives in my town now. She might be getting an apartment as soon as tomorrow, but she's been staying with friends so far since she's been here.
She says she wants to turn her life around.
Some interesting highlights from the conversation:
Ma: So, what's my grandchild's name? (yeah, that's right, my kid is 18 months old, and she doesn't even know that she's a girl, let alone know her name)
Ma: So, how are you doing?
Me: Um, ok, I'm due to have a baby tomorrow. The due date is tomorrow.
Ma: Really? No way!
Ma: So, maybe you'll have the baby today, do you know what today is?
Me: Sunday?.....
Me: oh wait, is it your birthday today?
Ma: Yeah!
Me: Happy Birthday.
Ma: Thanks!
Me: Yeah, I don't think the babe's coming today.
Ma: So, I'd like to know when you go into labour.
Me: *silence*
Ma: So, I guess I'll just keep on calling and then when you're in labour, I'll meet you in the hospital.
Me: *silence*
Me: Well, actually, I only want Armondo to be there when I have the baby. I don't have any friends coming or anything.
Ma: Oh, well who's watching (Cherry) when you're in the hospital?
Me: A friend. A GOOD friend. Yeah, she's great. She watches her often. It's ALL taken care of.
Ma: So, when do you want to see me?
Me: Well... *long pause* Ok, you say you want to change your life around, and I'd love to be around and help you through that and everything, but the truth of the matter is, it's been two years since we last talked, and that combined with what you did to your mother.... You know, there's a lot of hurt there. So I think we should just take it slow, and we can talk on the phone here and there for awhile before we jump into anything, you know?
Ma: Ok.
Me: 'Cause, you know, I'd really like you to be a part of our lives, but there's a lot of hurt to deal with.
Ma: Ok, I'd like to be apart of your lives too.
And with that, we ended the conversation with her basically promising to keep in touch.
Whew. Wow. I. AM. STUNNED. Too. Much. Stimulation.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
You asked for it!
Since you were all so insistent on seeing pictures, here ya go.
Can you see the stretch marks? One is in the shape of an "S". We call that one "Super Stretch Mark"
Let me just remind you: I am not responsible for the drool on your monitor as you try to make out with my foot. And, in case you find yourself completely unable to control yourself, just remember that it's probably ok to lick and kiss a regular old school monitor, but you might want to keep the slobber off of any LCD screens. I will not be responsible for any damage.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
This is getting a little insane.
So, I thought my feet were sexy when they were too swollen to wear my own shoes. Well. Apparently, my feet just weren't sexy enough, so they decided that it would be better if they swelled up enough that I CAN'T EVEN WEAR MY OWN SOCKS. That's right. I am now wearing Armondo's socks. Oh, and yeah, I have stretch marks on my feet now. And my calves. My calves are as big as my thighs right now. The sexiness is killing me. I look at my feet and I want to make out with them. That's how sexy it is. You wish your feet were as sexy as mine. I know you do. I could post a new picture, but I wouldn't want to be responsible for all the slobber you'd leave on the screen when you tried to virtually make out with my feet.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Baby Watch, 2007, continues. Bovine edition.
I went to the midwife today and had my weekly check. She's is NOT my favourite person this week. She tells me that, considering certain signs, I should not expect to have my baby until after the due date. That makes me very upset. But, 'tis life.
Since I've been so big and so exhausted, and sore, Armondo and I haven't been sleeping in the same bed lately. Every night, he comes and cuddles with me on our double size bed, then once I start getting all uncomfortable, he gets banished to the couch.
This arrangement has been working out fine, though I feel a little lonely when I wake up by myself.
Our house is pretty small, and all the bedroom doors open up to the main living area (no hallway), so Armondo isn't really all that far away from our bedroom, which means I can hear him snoring loud and clear. (Which doesn't bother me, FYI)
Now, some of you may know, Armondo talks in his sleep. I find this highly amusing and will often try to have conversations with him while he's unconscious. This often works. However, I almost always forget the conversations by the next day.
Anyway, last night, at around 4:15 am, I was awoken by mutterings coming out of the living room. Though it wasn't one of the more "normal" nocturnal conversations that I'm used to hearing come from Armondo. It went a little like this:
"Mooo!"
giggle giggle (man giggles, of course)
"MOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
And then he went back to snoring.
He blames it on reading farm stories to the little one before she goes to bed.
*oh, and I actually answered comments on that last post!
Since I've been so big and so exhausted, and sore, Armondo and I haven't been sleeping in the same bed lately. Every night, he comes and cuddles with me on our double size bed, then once I start getting all uncomfortable, he gets banished to the couch.
This arrangement has been working out fine, though I feel a little lonely when I wake up by myself.
Our house is pretty small, and all the bedroom doors open up to the main living area (no hallway), so Armondo isn't really all that far away from our bedroom, which means I can hear him snoring loud and clear. (Which doesn't bother me, FYI)
Now, some of you may know, Armondo talks in his sleep. I find this highly amusing and will often try to have conversations with him while he's unconscious. This often works. However, I almost always forget the conversations by the next day.
Anyway, last night, at around 4:15 am, I was awoken by mutterings coming out of the living room. Though it wasn't one of the more "normal" nocturnal conversations that I'm used to hearing come from Armondo. It went a little like this:
"Mooo!"
giggle giggle (man giggles, of course)
"MOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
And then he went back to snoring.
He blames it on reading farm stories to the little one before she goes to bed.
*oh, and I actually answered comments on that last post!
Monday, January 01, 2007
Baby Watch, 2007
Happy New Year everyone!
Neither myself, nor my SIL who is due, have had a baby yet.
My feet are still swollen.
My house is still full of flies.
The new hot water tank is great.
I was awake past midnight last night, but spent the last 10 minutes of 2006 desperately trying to get Sabre to come back inside due to the crazy amount of fireworks people in my neighbourhood were setting off. I was worried about her. She didn't come home until this morning. Considering how much I worry about my CATS, I'm going to be one heck of a mess when I have two teenage daughters!
I hope no one is offended that I'm not answering individual comments lately. I really do read them all, I just find myself too wrapped up in myself these days to actually respond to them. Please keep them coming though. My mind is feeling like a garbage dump these days, and I really appreciate all the kind support I've been getting!
Oh yeah, I got a new monitor for my computer as a post-Christmas present. This monitor is awesome, and actually shows colours the way they're supposed to look, which means that I've been posting a lot of pictures in the past that I've edited to look lighter, but now look like crap! Including my pregnancy photos. I've re-done some of them, and included them in my NEW flickr account. Feel free to go take a click on the sidebar and have a look.
Here's to hoping that the next post has newborn pictures in it!
~C
Neither myself, nor my SIL who is due, have had a baby yet.
My feet are still swollen.
My house is still full of flies.
The new hot water tank is great.
I was awake past midnight last night, but spent the last 10 minutes of 2006 desperately trying to get Sabre to come back inside due to the crazy amount of fireworks people in my neighbourhood were setting off. I was worried about her. She didn't come home until this morning. Considering how much I worry about my CATS, I'm going to be one heck of a mess when I have two teenage daughters!
I hope no one is offended that I'm not answering individual comments lately. I really do read them all, I just find myself too wrapped up in myself these days to actually respond to them. Please keep them coming though. My mind is feeling like a garbage dump these days, and I really appreciate all the kind support I've been getting!
Oh yeah, I got a new monitor for my computer as a post-Christmas present. This monitor is awesome, and actually shows colours the way they're supposed to look, which means that I've been posting a lot of pictures in the past that I've edited to look lighter, but now look like crap! Including my pregnancy photos. I've re-done some of them, and included them in my NEW flickr account. Feel free to go take a click on the sidebar and have a look.
Here's to hoping that the next post has newborn pictures in it!
~C
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